Harm Reduction Therapy can be a useful tool when trying to conquer something. i have chosen to go this route, along with the nicotine patch, in order to quit smoking. Honestly, i am tired of it but need help to quit. And, HRT will give me the opportunity to slow down and find alternative positive behaviors to help me deal with life in general.
Basically, what i am doing is reducing the number of cigarettes that i smoke each day. i am giving myself a certain amount of time that must pass between each cigarette before i can have one. Now, this may not sound substantial, but it is. As someone who can sit and chain smoke for hours, this is a big deal. Anyway, halfway through my day around 2pm, i increase the amount of time that must pass in order to challenge myself.
Having said that, i survived my first day. That was a big hurdle for me, but i did it and i will do it again today. i can tell a small difference in how i feel. i'm not breathing much better yet, but i did not sound like a pipe organ when i woke up this morning and that's an improvement. It will only get better from here on out because i am determined to do this. i have to many things i need and want to do to let smoking control my life anymore.
If i need help, i will be reaching out so be prepared!
Cheers
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Recipe of the week - instant Russian Tea
Yes, it's instant, but i love it! It was a staple in our house around the holidays. And, i've learned, it is also good cold :) Enjoy!
Ingredients:
1 Large jar Tang
1.5 cup sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 cup lemon drink mix
1/2 cup instant tea
1 tsp. ground cloves
Mix all ingredients. Store in glass jar. To serve, boil water and add instant tea mix to taste.
i usually do 1-2 teaspoons of mix to each cup of water.
i also found that you can use instant tea with lemon and kill 2 birds with one stone :)
Enjoy! Cheers!
Ingredients:
1 Large jar Tang
1.5 cup sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 cup lemon drink mix
1/2 cup instant tea
1 tsp. ground cloves
Mix all ingredients. Store in glass jar. To serve, boil water and add instant tea mix to taste.
i usually do 1-2 teaspoons of mix to each cup of water.
i also found that you can use instant tea with lemon and kill 2 birds with one stone :)
Enjoy! Cheers!
thought for the day - the smells of Saturday
Yesterday was a beautiful day. Spring is definitely on its way here and i am looking forward to that. As Michael had to work yesterday, i spent my Saturday at home with Squirt just relaxing and doing some things around the house. And i began to think about Saturdays growing up in Monroe and what i remember most are the smells that went along with our Saturdays.
Of course, Saturday mornings almost always started out with breakfast and cartoons. Since i didn't, and still don't, like milk, i always ate my cereal dry. That was fine with me and on the chance i eat cereal these days, that's how i like it. And the cartoons were on so i was plunked down in front of the tv. Usually, i watched things like Peanuts, The Smurfs or The Snorks. i also enjoyed Shirt Tails and Scooby Doo. But, we were not usually allowed to sit around all morning and watch television. There was work to be done around the house!
In the spring, we almost always had the windows and screen doors open, so there was typically an inviting breeze inside the house. i loved the smells from outside that would waft through our house. The freshly mowed lawn, the flowers and the fruit trees. Inside the house one could fine the aroma of furniture polish...usually Lemon Pledge....and the smell of laundry detergent and freshly folded clothes...yes they do have a distinct smell :) The hot dust smell of the old Electrolux cannister vacuum cleaner.
Later in the day, there would be something either in the oven or on the grill for dinner. Mom's spaghetti sauce or Dad's hamburgers on the grill....these would permeate the house at dinner time. The perfume of freshly brewed sweet tea. The late afternoon rise of the honeysuckle in the nearby woods. At the time, i did not appreciate these smells because they were a routine part of weekly life. Today, i cherish their memory.
Time to create my own Saturday smells :)
Cheers!
Of course, Saturday mornings almost always started out with breakfast and cartoons. Since i didn't, and still don't, like milk, i always ate my cereal dry. That was fine with me and on the chance i eat cereal these days, that's how i like it. And the cartoons were on so i was plunked down in front of the tv. Usually, i watched things like Peanuts, The Smurfs or The Snorks. i also enjoyed Shirt Tails and Scooby Doo. But, we were not usually allowed to sit around all morning and watch television. There was work to be done around the house!
In the spring, we almost always had the windows and screen doors open, so there was typically an inviting breeze inside the house. i loved the smells from outside that would waft through our house. The freshly mowed lawn, the flowers and the fruit trees. Inside the house one could fine the aroma of furniture polish...usually Lemon Pledge....and the smell of laundry detergent and freshly folded clothes...yes they do have a distinct smell :) The hot dust smell of the old Electrolux cannister vacuum cleaner.
Later in the day, there would be something either in the oven or on the grill for dinner. Mom's spaghetti sauce or Dad's hamburgers on the grill....these would permeate the house at dinner time. The perfume of freshly brewed sweet tea. The late afternoon rise of the honeysuckle in the nearby woods. At the time, i did not appreciate these smells because they were a routine part of weekly life. Today, i cherish their memory.
Time to create my own Saturday smells :)
Cheers!
Saturday, March 5, 2016
thought for the day
Spring break is here! i do not really have many plans going on other than getting homework done and hanging around the house and working on some projects. And i'm ok with that. After going to Disney last spring break, anything else would be hard to top!
Anyway, I started my break by attending the UNCG Theatre Dept Alumni Party at SETC last evening. I had waffled throughout the day as to whether or not I would go. I knew that a few people I knew would be going, but wasn't sure if I would know anyone else. Turns out, I knew a lot of people there and had a blast. It really was good to see so many people from the past. Most had not really changed one bit. And it's fun to play that cat and mouse game of "You look so familiar but I can't remember your name or exactly how I know you!" I played that one several times last night LOL And it was also great to see people that live here locally that I never get to see. It definitely makes me want to be more of a social creature.
Of course, i did spend some time asking myself why i chose not to continue pursuing theatre. And for a few moments, i thought i should just chuck it all and get back to it. But no, it's not what i want right now for my life. i do want theatre to enhance my life, but not control it. i have my goals and am going to continue to work on them. Definitely. i would, however, like to do some theatre again at some point. And i will, no doubt. But, for right now, i'm happy with where i am.
Still, it was great to see people and take a few strolls down memory lane. i need to do that more often. That is all!
Cheers!
Anyway, I started my break by attending the UNCG Theatre Dept Alumni Party at SETC last evening. I had waffled throughout the day as to whether or not I would go. I knew that a few people I knew would be going, but wasn't sure if I would know anyone else. Turns out, I knew a lot of people there and had a blast. It really was good to see so many people from the past. Most had not really changed one bit. And it's fun to play that cat and mouse game of "You look so familiar but I can't remember your name or exactly how I know you!" I played that one several times last night LOL And it was also great to see people that live here locally that I never get to see. It definitely makes me want to be more of a social creature.
Of course, i did spend some time asking myself why i chose not to continue pursuing theatre. And for a few moments, i thought i should just chuck it all and get back to it. But no, it's not what i want right now for my life. i do want theatre to enhance my life, but not control it. i have my goals and am going to continue to work on them. Definitely. i would, however, like to do some theatre again at some point. And i will, no doubt. But, for right now, i'm happy with where i am.
Still, it was great to see people and take a few strolls down memory lane. i need to do that more often. That is all!
Cheers!
Friday, February 12, 2016
the hardest days of my life - part three
i packed my things and prepared to leave for home. i got everything into my car and sat there in the parking deck in the driver's seat. i must have sat there for an hour, not able to turn the ignition. Not because the car didn't work but because i just couldn't. Turning the key in the ignition meant that this was all real, that i was going home to Mom's funeral. i was not ready for that.
Finally, i got out of the car and walked to Tate Street to a pay phone. Why i didn't walk back to my dorm room which was much closer i have no clue. But, i called Jennifer and asked her if her offer to drive me home was still good and that i would take her up on it. She, of course, said yes and we met back at my dorm after i had gotten my things out of the car. We packed them into her car and headed on our way.
Driving down Spring Garden Street, we pass Jill, who was noticeably limping. We pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. "I just got hit by a car" Jill said. We both looked at her with a rather stunned expression. Apparently, she was crossing the street and some woman ran into her. She didn't even stop her car but rolled down the window to ask if Jill was ok. i think that Jill was so stunned she didn't really know what to say and told the woman she was fine.
We detoured back to Jill's apartment and got her leg wrapped up. And, of course, she agreed to join us on our journey to Monroe. We climbed back into the car and started on our way. We stopped to get gas and snacks for the trip. i remember there was a credit card issue and so we ended up only getting gas...no snacks. But, it's not like it was a long road trip so that was ok.
i don't remember many specifics about the road trip, only that it was full of love and laughter. Courtney Wright had made me a mixed tape several months earlier. i had that tape with me and so we popped it into Jen's tape player. This was the first track:
We just howled!!! Now if anyone says "Why Hawaii and Norway aren't near each other" to me, i will just bust out laughing. It was a wonderful trip and such good memories.
We got home late afternoon. It had never occurred to me that i should have called ahead and told Dad of my plans and when i'd be home. i was just in a cloud. But, i went into the house first. i told Jen and Jill that i needed a moment. i went inside and saw Dad. We hugged for a while and i tried my best to hold it together. Jen and Jill came in with my luggage and said their hellos. i made sure that they knew their way back to Greensboro from the house and they were on their way. i don't know if they will ever know how much i loved them for taking me home. It was definitely a bright spot on a devastating day.
Not long after they left, my Uncle Bill arrived at the house with Grandmother. That was hard, plain and simple. She was a stoic, and in some ways i find that very admirable. i will never know the pain of losing a child, but i think she handled with the utmost grace. i know that it broke her heart when Mom died, but she was a trooper.
Finally, i got out of the car and walked to Tate Street to a pay phone. Why i didn't walk back to my dorm room which was much closer i have no clue. But, i called Jennifer and asked her if her offer to drive me home was still good and that i would take her up on it. She, of course, said yes and we met back at my dorm after i had gotten my things out of the car. We packed them into her car and headed on our way.
Driving down Spring Garden Street, we pass Jill, who was noticeably limping. We pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. "I just got hit by a car" Jill said. We both looked at her with a rather stunned expression. Apparently, she was crossing the street and some woman ran into her. She didn't even stop her car but rolled down the window to ask if Jill was ok. i think that Jill was so stunned she didn't really know what to say and told the woman she was fine.
We detoured back to Jill's apartment and got her leg wrapped up. And, of course, she agreed to join us on our journey to Monroe. We climbed back into the car and started on our way. We stopped to get gas and snacks for the trip. i remember there was a credit card issue and so we ended up only getting gas...no snacks. But, it's not like it was a long road trip so that was ok.
i don't remember many specifics about the road trip, only that it was full of love and laughter. Courtney Wright had made me a mixed tape several months earlier. i had that tape with me and so we popped it into Jen's tape player. This was the first track:
We got home late afternoon. It had never occurred to me that i should have called ahead and told Dad of my plans and when i'd be home. i was just in a cloud. But, i went into the house first. i told Jen and Jill that i needed a moment. i went inside and saw Dad. We hugged for a while and i tried my best to hold it together. Jen and Jill came in with my luggage and said their hellos. i made sure that they knew their way back to Greensboro from the house and they were on their way. i don't know if they will ever know how much i loved them for taking me home. It was definitely a bright spot on a devastating day.
Not long after they left, my Uncle Bill arrived at the house with Grandmother. That was hard, plain and simple. She was a stoic, and in some ways i find that very admirable. i will never know the pain of losing a child, but i think she handled with the utmost grace. i know that it broke her heart when Mom died, but she was a trooper.
the hardest days of my life - part two
"This song is sung from a mother to her child. Not only is it a beautiful song, but Bob chose it because it's very special to him. It's from the last show he saw with his mother before she passed" Melanie Ashley
i woke up the next morning and, for a few moments, i thought that everything that i had experienced over the last 8 hours had been a dream. Then reality hit. And the first thing i thought of that day was that i needed to tell Be Boyd. Be was my teacher and friend and she had helped me through many things in the 3 years i had known her. She, herself, had lost her mother the year before. But i needed to be the one to tell her. i didn't want her to hear it from someone else.
i got dressed and walked to the Elliot University Center on my way to Be's office. I remember that i bought a Coke and a 100 grand bar. I knew that i needed something in my stomach. i walked over to the Curry building. i knew Be would be in her office by 9 because she was doing an independent study with Sarah McKinney and Kelly Keaton. As i passed the windows to her office, i remember telling myself to just keep it together for another few minutes. At least until i got inside the building.
i went straight to her office and knocked on her door. When she opened her door, i said "Be, i need to talk to you." i fully expected her to ask me to wait until she finished her time with Sarah and Kelly. But, apparently, i did not look good at all. Go figure. She said, "yes, of course" and asked the ladies to give us a moment. Be had barely closed the door when i tried my best to get out "My mom died". i totally fell apart, crying uncontrollably. Be started crying and asked me to wait as she stepped outside. She told the ladies what had happened and they came into the office to console me for a moment. i just sat in Be's office for an hour crying. The noise i was making was so loud that Lorraine came out of her office next door to see what was going on. She also gave me a big hug. Eventually, i had to leave because Be had a class to teach and i needed to get things done before i left for home.
i left Be's office and went to the theater. i sat in the courtyard and smoked. A few people came and went, but no one knew what was going on by then so i was able to keep myself together. Then came Jim Wren and his drama appreciation TA's, one of whom was Jill Womack. Jill had assisted directed the play i had just done so we had gotten to be, and still are, dear friends. i was sitting on a bench and she took one look at me and said "Are you ok?" i just shook my head no. She asked "Is it your mom?" i shook my head yes. "What happened?" i barely got out the words "she died" before i was a waterfall again. Jill kindly took me in her arms and held me for the good portion of an hour. And anyone who came by she explained to them my circumstances. She had class at 11 and had to leave me. She had not walked into the theater more than 2 minutes before Jennifer Avery came running out of the theater. She almost knocked me over. She grabbed onto me and was also crying. She apologized that she couldn't stay with me but, like Jill, she had to be in class. She offered to take me home but i told her i was ok. At that time, i thought i was. She headed back into the building and i headed back to my room to pack. Little did i know that driving wasn't really an option for me then.
Recipe of the week - chicken casserole
One of my favorite "go to" recipes. Grandmother made this a lot and I still love it. It tastes great, it's easy and it brings back such wonderful memories! Enjoy!
2 cups cook diced chicken
1 cup slightly cooked celery
2 cups cooked rice
1 can cream of mushroom soup
3 Tblsp chopped onion
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1 can sliced water chestnuts, drained
1/2 cup sliced almonds (optional)
2 cups crushed cornflakes
1/2 stick margarine, melted
Mix first 8 ingredients; put in medium-sized casserole. Mix cornflakes with melted butter; sprinkle over top of casserole. Bate 45 minutes at 350 degrees. (Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Dressing Mix can be substituted for crushed cereal)
I have used the dressing mix before and it's great!
2 cups cook diced chicken
1 cup slightly cooked celery
2 cups cooked rice
1 can cream of mushroom soup
3 Tblsp chopped onion
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1 can sliced water chestnuts, drained
1/2 cup sliced almonds (optional)
2 cups crushed cornflakes
1/2 stick margarine, melted
Mix first 8 ingredients; put in medium-sized casserole. Mix cornflakes with melted butter; sprinkle over top of casserole. Bate 45 minutes at 350 degrees. (Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Dressing Mix can be substituted for crushed cereal)
I have used the dressing mix before and it's great!
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