Some days you just have to run the red light

 

I am a very cautious driver.  I always have been.  I have not gotten a speeding ticket yet in my life even though I do drive over the limit sometimes.  I have only been in one accident and that was not my fault.  I was driving a company car when someone pulled out and rammed into me.  That was fun years ago! I am also a huge stickler when it comes to traffic laws.  There are few things that irritate me more than when people just do not obey the traffic laws simply because they don't think the laws pertain to them.  I will lay on my horn whenever I see someone turning right at a "no right on red" stop.  Drives me crazy.  If I am on a two-lane road, I will make sure that I am over just far enough so that cars behind me cannot use the bike lane as a turning lane. If I am making a right turn off of a three-lane road, I will make it a wide right turn if I can tell that the car behind me is going to use the center lane to pass me on the left.  I have gotten the finger more than once from that one.  I just smile and keep going.

However, yesterday I did something I never dreamt I would ever do. I ran a red light.  I got so irritated at this light that would not turn I could not take it anymore.  I looked at the cross traffic, and no one was coming so I floored it through the intersection.  I was on my way to work and not about to be late because the light trigger was not working.  I was at an intersection that, during the day, is very busy.  At 6:45 on a Sunday morning, not so much. I was waiting at the red light.  There was no one coming in my opposite direction but there were cars on the intersecting street. I have sat at this light in the early morning before when the trigger does not work on my side, but the light will turn green if someone approaches the intersection coming towards me.  So, I sat and sat. Both left turn lights on the intersecting street went green twice while my light stayed red.  There were cars behind me, but our light would not turn at all.  

Finally, I said to myself "screw this" and I just went for it.  I made sure no one was coming and I blew across the intersection.  With my luck, there would have been a cop nearby but thank goodness there was not one.  And I made it to work with time to spare.  I don't do things like this in traffic, but I got so angry knowing that I was going to sit there for a long time.  I just couldn't take it anymore and I went for it.  I'm not ashamed and I would do it again if I needed to.  I do wonder, though, how long the cars behind me waited at that light.  Oh well. 

Breakfast and healthier snacking

 Sometimes because of my work schedule, I am not able to eat a big breakfast.  And that is ok.  I don't have to eat a big breakfast every day.  However, I still make sure that I have something every day because it does make a difference and I don't eat as much.  This past week I have had to work earlier than normal. When I am 9 to 5 (cue Dolly Parton song), it is much easier to make a big breakfast.  When I work 7 to 3, cooking breakfast is not a priority in the mornings.  I had to work at 7 several days last week, so I would pack a small something to take with me that I could eat at the desk.  

I got a lot of fruit in this week.  Fruit is an easy and healthy option for me.  One thing that I did do, though, is make sure that I had a snack with me as well.  While the fruit was good, it does not fill me up the way a large breakfast does.  I did not expect it to so I wanted to be prepared for that.  I had bought some carrots at the grocery store last week, so I peeled them and sliced them for a week's worth of snacks.  And it did the trick.  Sometime between 10 and 11 each morning, my stomach would begin to growl, and I knew that the fruit was gone by then.  Having the carrots there, only a handful, helped me until lunch. 

Making sure that I am eating something every morning has had a good effect on me.  It's a pattern that I hope I can continue.  And like I said in my last post about breakfast, I am looking for new things to have for breakfast so that I do not burn out on anything.  As for now, it's time for me to fix myself some breakfast before I take my car in for an oil change.  Good times!

5 careers I wanted at one time in my life

 As I have embarked on a career working with the elderly, albeit late in life, I am very excited about what is ahead for me on this journey.  But I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had taken my career down a different path.  There were things that I wanted to be when I was growing up that, obviously, did not come to fruition. It just is where my life took me.  But it's fun to look back and remember when I had these aspirations.  I do not regret where my career has gone so I can look at these memories and smile.  

1. Estate attorney

After I read a will for the first time, I was hooked on it.  Strange, I know, but I was fascinated by the thought of an estate being divided up.  Who got what was really fun to me.  I think it's partially because the first will I ever read, my Aunt Sara's, I was a beneficiary of.  She left things to every member of her family. I thought that was awesome.  I would then read a will any time I could.  I just found it very fun. I learned a lot really and it was a great lesson in what was fair and what was not fair. I learned the legal terms associated with wills and have a good knowledge base because of that. 

2. Antiques business owner

Once I became enthralled with antiques, I wanted to own my own antiques business.  As much as I loved and still love buying antiques, I wanted to be the one to sell them.  I wanted to have a shop where people could experience the same kind of magic that I experienced when I've been to places and found those very special items that have become a part of my life.

3. Minister of music

I don't think that I have ever actually expressed this before, but for a time I wanted to become a minister of music.  My upbringing in the FBC of Monroe was filled with music.  Under the leadership of Jim Reich, Gerald Hamilton and Doug Vancil, I was able to participate in amazing musical experiences.  And it was a way that I could contribute to the church and take part in worship.  My struggles with my faith and dealing with my life, that dream was tucked away only to remain a memory.

4. 1st grade teacher

Playing school was a huge part of my childhood.  All through elementary school, one of our favorite afternoon activities was playing school.  And because my year in 1st grade was such an important part of my school experience, I wanted to be a 1st grade teacher.  I adored my 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Richmond.  She made our year so much fun and she cared about all of her students.  I have never forgotten her and because of her, I wanted to be a 1st grade teacher.

5. Architect 

One of the things that came along with my love of antiques was my love of old houses.  In my early teen years, I spent hours drawing floor plans.  I would study the old houses that I had the privilege of spending time in. I paid attention to the details and how things were laid out.  I absolutely loved it.  So much that I got a drafting table for Christmas one year.  And I still enjoy looking over floor plans, especially of old homes.

Obviously, none of these career paths came true.  That's ok because I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing.  Still, it's nice to think back on the dreams that I once had.  They make me smile and they still play a part of my life...just not as a career.  What were some of your career dreams?

Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram

 I've never seen An American Tail but this song gets me every time!

Matthew 18:3

 

This past week's sermon was based on this verse and it really got me thinking about life and what living like a child means.  Be more inclusive.  Be more inquisitive. Be dependent. Live more simply.  Be more inclusive.  These were all talking points mentioned and have given me a lot to ponder.  I like it. 

You're a nice guy but...it's time to find myself again

 

I learned late in life that there is a fine line between making compromises and losing one's sense of self.  Unfortunately, I lost my sense of self a lot more than I made compromises.  I have always been a pleaser, a person who likes to make others happy and comfortable.  And there is NOTHING wrong with that.  I come by it naturally.  For any of you who knew Mom or Grandmother can attest to that fact.  And it is a good feeling to make other people happy when it makes me happy.  To me, there's almost no better feeling in the world.

The problem for me I stopped thinking of myself in order to think of others first.  That is simply not healthy.  It definitely can mess with a person's mind.  I know it did mine.  I cannot blame anyone for that other than myself.  No one forced me to push my desires and wants to the back burner.  I did that all by myself.  But I thought I was doing it out of love.  To a degree, I was. But the cost ended up not being worth the price.  After years of never expressing what I wanted or needed, my sense of self-worth and confidence went down the tubes. 

That was where I was emotionally when I became single again in my late 40's.  And it's not necessarily a bad place to be when one is starting over.  I have spent the last few years rediscovering the things that make me happy.  Rediscovering the things that I enjoy.  And yes, that still includes doing for other people, but I no longer do it at the price of my own happiness.  It now enhances my life instead of controlling my life.  I discovered things that I had forgotten that I enjoyed doing.  And that's a great thing.

I have talked before on here and with friends that I am learning to enjoy my own company again.  If I do not like spending time with myself, I cannot expect others to enjoy time together.  And I can tell it has made a difference.  I am able to carry on conversations now whereas before I did not think I was interesting enough to. I can sit and watch a movie of my choosing now because I don't have to give in to someone else.  I can go out and do things that I never suggested previously because I was all about someone else. 

It's a very entertaining journey of self-discovery.  Or self-rediscovery depending on how you look at it.  While I will never get back the time I spent ignoring my own needs and wants, I feel better about Bob than I have in a long time.  At least emotionally.  The physical side still needs a lot of work!  But more about that later.

Quote of the Week

 

A great thought to start the day with!