Being Selfish

 Yesterday I was reading a letter that one of my lifelong friends sent to me.  It arrived earlier in the week, but I waited until a day when I had nothing going on to really sit down and do my correspondence.  Ah, Saturdays!  Anyway, I had written to her and talked about some of the things going on in my life right now.  She has always been supportive of me (and I of her).  We known each other for over 40 years.  And other than the kids that lived on Brookgreen Drive, she's probably been my friend the longest.  

In her letter she gave me some advice, which her mother had given to her. And I have no doubt that her mother, another good friend of mine, would give me this advice if we sat down and talked about my life.  She, my friend, went through a divorce years ago.  While I don't call the end of my relationship a divorce, it does come with some of the same feelings so she can relate.  Anyway, she told me that this is a time in my life to be selfish.  I need to put myself first.  I need to do things for myself and myself only.  I need to not do anything I don't want to do just to make someone else happy.  This was the perfect thing for me to hear.

And, yes, I have talked about this kind of mentality with my therapist so this is not a new concept to me.  However it has a lot more power coming from a friend and not someone I pay to listen to me.  Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that....I like my therapist and will continue.  It's just that hearing this from someone who has been through a similar experience and taken this advice to heart is pretty powerful.  And it just felt different hearing it this way.

So, for awhile, I'm going to be selfish.  I won't shirk my duties and responsibilities to my work, my family and my friends.  But I'm going to be selfish and treat myself like I deserve to treat myself.

That is all.