Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Fears of being a student

 When I went back to school in 2014 to get my undergraduate degree, I was very excited but also very apprehensive about it.  I was worried that things had changed too much in the decades that I had been in the workforce that I would not be able to keep up with everyone else.  Luckily, I was wrong.  I did just fine.  My classes were mostly in person, with a few online and that worked out well.  But for the first semester, it was always in the back of my head that I might not be able to do it.  But, again, those fears never came to fruition.  And the further I got in my education, the better I got at being a student again.

Coming into this graduate program, I had that same fear about  not being able to keep up.  This time, though, it wasn't because of the length of time in between degrees.  It was because this degree is entirely online.  I looked at it as a challenge.  I knew I was up for the challenge but it did scare me some because I am not, and I have said this before, the most technology savvy person in the world.  I made it through and did well.  I was/am proud of all that I accomplished my first semester.

I am looking forward to my summer break.  It's been a hard year so far, in good and bad ways, and I could use some time just to not be focused.  But earlier today, I did have that fear creep up again.  Will I forget how to be a student over my summer break?  It sounds like an essay I might have written in middle school.  LOL.  I know that it's all in my mind and once the semester begins in the fall, I will be fine.  The anticipation of it is what stresses me out sometimes.  So, I just need to let that go.  I've worked hard and I'm good student.  Taking a few months off will not change that.  I will not give myself more than I can handle because life is too short for that sort of thing.  Ah, well.  Just rambling today about my educational worries.  It's good for me to get them out.  That is all.

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