thought for the day

i really want to work on my communication skills.  One thing that irritates me about technology is that sometimes it makes things too easy not to get back to people.  Especially with having Facebook and texts on my phone.  i often miss messages on FB between my phone and the computer and it'll be several days or even weeks before i return a message.  Same with texts.  If i'm busy doing something in real time, sometimes texts slide through the cracks and i don't respond immediately.  Then, of course, it either hurts people's feelings or pisses them off.  i know, because i can be the same way when i'm on the other side of an unanswered message.  i don't mean to be rude, but technology has made it a lot easier it seems.

Now, i just have to figure out how to control it.  If you know me, you know i'm not a big phone talker.  There's not much that i would care less to do than to talk on the phone.  There's always that uncomfortable feeling of having to come up with things to talk about during that lag in the conversation...and it drives me crazy.  When i was in my 20s, and ruined....completely ruined my credit....i got into the habit of not answering the phone simply because of collectors calling.  That really turned me off to things.  i realize that i must get better at talking on the phone, simply because it's a fact of life and i need to do it.  We shall see.

And letters.  i need to write more actual letters.  Not emails.  i use to love getting mail that wasn't a bill.  It's definitely a dying art form and i'd like to start bringing it back.  Even though emails are very convenient and appropriate at times, things like birthday cards and letters just to say hello are still very special.  At least, i think they are.  After all, you can't scrapbook an e-card!

Well, i will figure something out...it will just take time.

thought for the day

i feel like i'm at war with my house. 

Ever since i was let go from my job, i've spent way too much time at home.  i have had a list of projects to work on, but have not really succeeded at getting any of them done.  Most days, all i do is go from room to room and look around, staring at what needs to be done.  Making a mental list, but doing nothing to cross those items off of the list.  And the longer the list gets, the less effort i have to get any of it done and then i spiral into a feeling of worthlessness, which leads to depression, etc.  It's a vicious cycle, to be sure.

This past weekend we went to see Michael's family.  It's always a good time.  i get envious of his parents house, though.  Everything has it's place.  It's well put together.  You know exactly where everything is suppose to go.  i always think, while i'm there, that the house is so comfortable, so unlike the chaotic mess that is our house.  i think of things to do to our house and ideas for it while i'm there, but once i get home....nothing. 

It's almost like the house is sucking the energy out of me.  i know what needs to be done, but i cannot seem to get myself to do it.  But, i know, if we wish to remain here, i cannot let these feelings defeat me.  i have to work through them and get on the ball about things.  i do better when things are neat and orderly, i just have a difficult time maintaining that.  i just have to figure out a better plan of action.

Any ideas would be helpful.

Cheers

Recipe of the week - Pound cake

I made this a few weeks ago from a recipe I found on Facebook.  It turned out quite well, i must admit.  Since i cannot find Mom's pound cake recipe, i've been searching for one of my own. While it's not as good as hers, it came pretty close and i'll be baking this one again!

Cream Cheese Pound Cake

1&1/2 cups butter, softened
1 8oz package of cream cheese, softened
6 eggs
3 cups of sugar
1&1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups flour
1/8 tsp salt

Beat butter and cream cheese about 2 minutes or until creamy.  Gradually add sugar, beating 5 to 7 minutes.  Add eggs, one at a time, beating just until the yellow disappears.  Add Vanilla, mixing well. Combine flour and salt.  Gradually add to butter mixture, beating at low speed until just blended after each addition. Pour batter into a greased and floured 10" tube pan.  Bake at 300 for 1 hour and 30 minutes until a toothpick or knife inserted into the cake comes out clean.  Cool on a wire rack for 10-15 minutes.  Remove cake from pan and cool completely.

Helpful hint:  Fill an oven proof bowl or measuring cup with 2 cups of water and place in the oven while the cake is baking to help keep it moist.

Thought for the day

i've finally come to accept the fact that i'm more of a loner than a social person.  i come by it naturally, my dad is the same way.  My mom wasn't tho, and it seems that the older i get the more like my dad i become.  And that's not a bad thing at all.

For a while now, i've been beating myself up for not having a social life.  i honestly thought that there was something wrong with me and that's why hardly anyone ever wanted to hang out (there are a few exceptions to that of course).  It made social media very hard.  Seeing people that i know doing things together, going places, eating out, etc....all the time i'm sitting at home on FB to watch all of it LOL  But, now i realize that that is ok.  i actually prefer staying at home and trying, note i said trying, to get things done.  It's nice to be in my own space and spending time with Michael and Squirt.  i will especially miss the time with Squirt once school starts.

However, this doesn't mean i want to be a hermit.  i still enjoy entertaining and plan to do more.  i'm just no longer going to pressure myself into being something i'm not because i think it will make people like me.  People already like me and i must remember that.  So, there you go.

Cheers!

Day 38

Wow, the time really has flown by.  And i've still yet to get anything major accomplished around the house.  Oh well LOL  But, i do have some good news coming, but i'll do that later.  Change is good and i must embrace it otherwise i will never move forward.

i did have a little meltdown earlier this week and i apologize for anyone who had to witness it.  Sometimes i do get down and negative.  But that's just life.  A little part of me feels bad when i get like that and post things online, but i'd much rather do that than keep it all bottled inside, which i did will all emotions for about 6 years and it sucks!

For a while now, our circle of friends here in Greensboro has diminished....almost completely vanished.  Not to say that we are not friends with any of the people anymore, most of them just no longer live here.  And sometimes it gets really really lonely.  Especially since i've been unemployed.  And yes, sometimes i get bitter when i see people post on Facebook that they're just around the corner or only a few blocks away.  And i guess when i'm not invited to the party, i get sad.  Oh well.

We have a lot of great friends all over the state that we see when we can.  Just not many friends or even social acquaintances here in town.  Hopefully that will change soon.  We shall see

Recipe of the week - Onion Pie

We first had this dish at my brother and sister in law's house over a Thanksgiving holiday several years ago.  We immediately loved it and i asked Heidi for the recipe, which she gladly gave to me.  And now, i'm sharing it with you!  Enjoy!

30 saltines
1 stick of butter, melted
3 cups thinly sliced vidalia onions
1/4 cup sharp grated cheddar cheese
1 1/2 cups of milk
3 eggs
1/2 tsp salt

- Crush saltine crackers and place in a shallow casserole dish (9x13).  Pour melted butter over crackers.
- Saute 3 cups of thinly sliced vidalia onions in butter until golden brown
- Pour over crackers
- Sprinkle grated cheese on top of the onions

This can be made ahead of time

Once ready to bake:
- Scald milk
- Add scalded milk to 3 beaten eggs
- Add salt

- Pour over onion & cheese mix
- Bake at 350 for 30 min or until it's set

10 things you don't know about me...#10

Christmas music and movies

i listen to Christmas music and watch holiday movies all year round.  It's my favorite time of year, even when i was working and didn't get to enjoy it as much as i use to.  And, as Michael's not a huge fan of the music, i don't play it much at home during the holidays unless i have some alone time in the house.  So, i don't get to hear it as much as i'd like when it's in season lol

But for some reason, i take great comfort in it.  i think it's the memories from the wonderful Christmases i had growing up.  Music, at home and at church, was always a big part of the holiday season and i just adored it.  i still have all of the Christmas albums that i heard when growing up. i think my Christmas record collection is about 75 and growing now haha :)

When i get really depressed or worried, and i'm by myself, i'll watch a Christmas movie.  i don't know why, but they always make me happy and that helps get me thru the rough patches.  i remember when Mom's cancer came back, the day we were all at home waiting on the phone call from her doctor to see how bad it was, i was scared to death (this day began my stoic period that lasted about 6 years when i never cried)  So i called my friend Blair who lived down the street and borrowed her copy of White Christmas to watch while we waited.  i don't really know why i wanted to watch it, it was the middle of summer.  But, it made me feel better and i'm glad i did.

Probably not as interesting as you'd hoped, but there you have it!