i often wonder about the people that walk around the streets of Greensboro, day after day, collecting aluminum cans out of people's garbage and recycling cans.  i know it's a way to make money from other people's trash.  But, i wonder why do they do it?  Is it out of such serious need?  Or just an easier way to bring in an income of some sorts?  i am by no means looking down on anyone who does this.  After all, we all have to earn a living in one way or another.

i do want to know, though, what their story is.  What made them want or need to do this?  i somehow doubt that in most cases it is a concern about the environment that is pushing them to collect cans for recycling.  i'm not saying that can never be the case, but some how i doubt it for most of them.  And don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong, i think, with people rifling through garbage and recycling cans that are out on the curb.  If there's something in there to help them make a little money...have at it!

The thing that brought this up for me is there is a gentleman who comes around the neighborhood a few times a month looking for cans.  Less so when it is cold and the weather is unpredictable.  But, when it is warmer, i see him all of the time.  He usually has a friend with him and they go from recycling can to recycling can looking for cans to collect.  They are very respectful of people's property.  They do not go through any cans that aren't out on the curb and when they take things out of the recycling cans to dig down deep, they always put them back once they are finished looking.

Anyway, one day when i saw them i noticed that one of the gentlemen looked familiar.  Just something about him rang a bell in my head.  We never spoke, but i did recognize something about him.  After he had been gone a few hours, it dawned on me where i knew him from.  Way back in the day, i use to go to a bar in downtown Greensboro called The Palms and he was a frequent patron there.  In fact, from what i remember seeing and hearing, he was there pretty much every night.  i know that at the time he had a job.  And now i have to wonder if he still does or if collecting cans for recycling is his only way of making money.  One must wonder the circumstances that might take someone on this path through life.  It is not to judge lest we be judged ourselves.

Oh well, just something that popped into my head.  And now, i do have to get my trash and recycling bins out to the curb for pick up in the morning.

Cheers

thought for the day

i haven't written much in the last week or so.  Honestly, some days it gets hard to get online right now.  There is so much hate in the world that one cannot get away from it.  It is a sad state of things, I say.  And there are times when, honestly, i just do not want to hear about it.  Just once, for a 24 hour period, i would like to turn on the tv, radio or internet and not hear about:

Indiana
pizza
hate
discrimination
police shooting
Congress
nuclear
religious freedom acts
celebrity gossip
hunger
animal abuse
gerrymandering
racism

There are lots more, but these are just the first few that come to my mind.  i know it is impossible not to hear these things on a daily basis unless i stay in bed all day reading.  i just want one day when the most difficult thing i have to put myself through is what i am going to cook for dinner.  In no means do i wish to ignore these topics permanently or deny that yes, they do occur on a daily basis.  Running from things is not the answer, but good grief i could use a break from it all.

Now, i am going to decide on dinner.  That is all.

Cheers

thought for the day - social manners

One of the obstacles that faces any couple is when one half of the couple is excluded from things.  Sometimes it is easy to deal with, sometimes it is not.  Now, Michael and I have some very different interests and we do not expect each other to be involved in every single facet of each others' lives.  We're not conjoined twins, for goodness sake.  For example, if a friend of mine invited me to go antiquing for a day, i would not necessarily expect Michael to be invited.  It's not his thing, really.  And there are many concerts that friends ask Michael to go to that i am not asked because that's not necessarily my kind of music.  Anyway, it is easier to deal with these kinds of things because they are specific, small groups.  It doesn't bother me not to be asked and i hope it doesn't bother Michael.

For me, the problem arises when invitations involve a large group and one of us is excluded.  To me, it could possibly say one of two things.  One being that the husband is automatically included in the invitation.  The other being you're just not invited.  i am processing these feelings at the moment and dealing with them better than i thought i would.  Michael was invited to an event this summer and i was not.  Fine.  But there are 90 other people invited to this and it at least would have been nice to have been asked to participate.  At first, i thought it might be that it was assumed i was invited, being Michael's husband, but on seeing the guest list many couples were invited individually so that was not my case.  Sometimes it's difficult to be left out, as if i don't ostracize myself enough already lol.  Michael encourage me to go, but i told him i wouldn't.  The statement was made loud and clear.  That's life and i move on.

My point being, i think, is that when we've had gatherings at our house...which we need to do more of...i cannot imagine inviting only half of a couple.  That just doesn't seem very hospitable to me.  Now, if only one half of a couple can attend, that's a horse of a different color. 

Normally, i would get very very angry about this and delete people from facebook after making some passive aggressive post about it.  i have tried hard over the last few years, mostly being successful, in not doing that.  i recognize that sometimes i still do, but i can't quit cold turkey.  So, no deletions, no rants, no blocking people.  Just getting it off of my chest and moving on.  But, i definitely will think twice about who i invited where and to what.  Being included does matter.  That is all.

Cheers

thought for the day - spring cleaning

Yesterday, i spent some time cleaning off and clearing off both the front and back porches of our house.  Both had way too much stuff on them.  And the back porch was covered in leaves still and lots of birdseed, thanks to the squirrels ripping open the bag lol  Anyway, after i took everything off the porches and swept, i started to put things back.  On both porches, i only put back about half of the stuff that was there to start with.  Everything else got either trashed to put in the garage until i figure out what to do with it.

i have to admit that having the spaces more open and free of clutter has been rejuvenating, even over just 24 hours.  When i walk out onto the porch, i automatically sigh because i feel much more relaxed.  Both look so much better with less clutter.

So, now that spring is approaching, it is time for some spring cleaning inside the house.  Yes, i have way too much stuff.  i know that.  And if you've been in our house, you know that too. That is not to say that our house is not comfortable...there's just too much stuff.  i've already got back of the car loaded up with boxes of stuff for Goodwill.  Other things i am going to try to sell and make some money off of.  Why not?  It's just that the feeling of not being so overcrowded with things will be worth the sacrifice.  After all, i can't take it with me LOL

So, if you've seen something you really like in our house...just ask.  You never know...it may be on the list to go!

Cheers!

thought for the day - my mood

It has been an up and down weekend for me.  Honestly, i'm not exactly sure why.  For the most part, things are going well other than being sick still.  i think that one of the reasons i have felt lost is because of one of the books i'm reading.  "Everything Was Possible" is the story behind the creation of the musical "Follies".  It is definitely a fascinating read so far and i do enjoy anytime i read about the creative process.  Anyway, because of that, the show itself has been burning up my brain power a lot lately.  It is one of my favorites of all time.  But, it is a hard show because it is all about confronting the ghosts of your past.  Sometimes, in the show, the characters literally are confronting their own ghosts.  It's eerie at times, but shows a part of life that must be faced in order to move on.

i'm not sure if i am ready to confront some of my ghosts, but i know the time is coming that i must.  And it has made me scared.  i miss the person i used to be 20+ years ago.  There are times, especially when i'm on campus, that i still feel like that boy.  Then the realization hits that i am not him anymore.  In fact, i'm old enough i could be his father.  And at times, i just want to shake him and tell him which road to take so he won't end up as crazy as i feel at times.  Of course, i can't do that, but it's a nice thought.  i know that i cannot change my past, but facing it seems almost unbearable at times.

i get lonely.  And, yes, i tend to isolate myself which only makes my feelings snowball.  i miss that ghost who had the constant circle of actual friends and an instant support group whenever needed.  i miss that ghost who still had both parents and a grandmother who adored him.  i want to slap that ghost for not taking advantage of those circumstances.

Maybe i will figure out a way to change these feelings of emptiness.  Maybe not.  Who knows.  All i can do is try.

Cheers

recipe of the week - shepherd's pie

This is easy and yummy...enough said!

Shepherd's Pie

2-1/2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cooked
1 to 1-1/2 cups sour cream
Salt and pepper to taste
2 pounds ground beef
1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 can (15-1/4 ounces) whole kernel corn, drained
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp garlic salt
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted

Mash potatoes with sour cream.  Add salt and pepper; set aside.  In a skillet, cook beef, red pepper and onion until meat is browned and vegetables are tender; drain.  Add corn, soup, milk and garlic salt; mix well.  Spread meat mixture in an ungreased 3-qt. baking dish.  Top with mashed potatoes; drizzle with butter.  Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 30-35 minutes or until heated through.  For additional browning, place under broiler for a few minutes.  Yield: 8-10 servings

Enjoy!

thought for the day - post vacation

It's always hard to come back to reality after being on vacation.  Especially when it is a wonderful vacation like we just had at Disney World, which i will write more about later this week.  All of the energy and excitement i had while we were away seems to be sucked out of me and i need to find a way to fix that.  It's not like my reality is bad at all.  It's just so routine that there does not seem to be much to get excited about.  And i need to be excited, for my mental and physical health.

i admittedly felt much better while we were away.  All of my aches and pains were pretty much non existent.  i didn't need to rely on my addictions to have a good time.  i was totally in the moment and enjoying everything.  It is possible to do that as well now that we're back, it will just take more effort.  And these feelings are not special to this particular vacation...i feel this way everytime i come home from vacation lol  But, i never know quite how to make those feelings from vacation transfer to real life.

One of the things that i realize while i am on vacation is that i have too much stuff.  Don't get me wrong, i love my stuff but there is just too much of it and more often than not it feels like a burden.  So, it is time for me to do some definite spring cleaning and decluttering.  It is good for the soul.  And, if i can sell some stuff and make some money, all the better!

Long story short, live simply and fully...don't get tied down by things that do not matter in the long run...be present what's happening now and savor each moment.

Cheers