Today is going to be a better day at work

 Yes, today is going to be better than yesterday. I am determined.  Nothing happened at work yesterday.  Not that I need anything out of the ordinary to happen.  I have definitely had my fill of that for the year.  But yesterday I sat around at my desk, staring at my computer most of the day with nothing to do.  The phone didn't even ring that much it seemed.  Ah, well.

This feeling is hard for me to articulate.  I do a lot for a lot of people at work.  But yesterday was so unfulfilling and I haven't felt like that in a long time.  It's not that I need additional duties, as I feel I do enough and the company more than gets its money's worth.  I just kept having this nagging feeling that I wasn't doing my job because there really was not a job to do.  

I know that in some ways I have plateaued at work.  That's ok but it creates this constant feeling of "now what?"  I will admit that it's hard watching others around me continue to rise while I sit stationary.  And it's rare now a days to get asked to do something.  And I see duties I used to have be assigned elsewhere.  It's frustrating.

I don't know.  I just had to get it out.  Today will be better.  There will be coffee and doughnuts at least.

That is all

Going to find a positive in today

 I did not sleep well last night....at all.  It was a very restless sleep.  I just could not get settled down.  My brain seemed to take off into a bizarre world of dreams every time I actually fell asleep.  Not nightmares, just weird dreams. Enough to wake me up and make me go "what was that?".  I finally got myself up about 5:15. I got the coffee brewing and started the dishwasher.  At least I got something productive done so far today, if nothing else LOL Anyway, once I get my coffee and sit down at the computer, things don't necessarily get any more restful.

When you wake up to more reminders of all the bad in the world, it is hard to motivate oneself to anything.  It is hard to try and maintain a smile on one's face.  But I am determined to find something positive in the global abominations that are thrown at me this morning.  I have absolutely no idea what that is going to be, but dammit I am going to find it.  It is the only...and I mean only...way I will be able to get through my day with some semblance of sanity.

There is a part of me that just wants to crawl back into bed and pull the covers up over me.  As much as I would like that, it's not going to happen.  I'm going to have to get dressed, go to work and deal with many people who need care beyond my capabilities...but that's for another blog.  I will smile through it all in an attempt to make their day somewhat better, and hopefully mine.  But I will find at least one thing that will truly make me better.  That one thing that will make me smile at the core of my spirit and really show on my face.  No clue what that's going to be, but I am going to find it today.  For everyone's sake LOL

That is all

Rearranging

 When you have a  lot of furniture and stuff like I do, rearranging things is not something that I do very often.  Usually, once something has found its place in our home, it will stay there for a long time.  Furniture, especially.  Now, knick knacks are different because they are small and can be changed out easily.  We just rarely switch up where the furniture is.  Back in December, I did move our dining room table and chairs over about a foot and a half towards the wall.  It gave us much more walking space between the living room and the kitchen.  That wasn't really rearranging, but it did provide a good sense of change.

Anyway, I moved a side table yesterday to balance out my living room area.  Two reasons I did this.  One is because where it was located blocked the bookcase and you couldn't really see into the bookcase.  In addition to books, obviously, I keep other collectibles there and I'd like to be able to look at them.  Also, it was a lighting issue.  There was not much light in the middle of the room and having that table moved to the other side of the sofa will provide more centralized light, which I like.  I had also planned on putting a floor lamp where the table had been but that didn't pan out.  The lamp is broken, which I didn't realize.  So, now I've got that on my shopping list for later on....no rush LOL

I really like having the table over there now.  It's interesting to me how such a small change can make all the difference in how I feel about a room.  I doubt that there will be many more changes simply because of spacing constraints.  But, for now, I am enjoying the small change.

That is all

Josh Groban - Your'e Still You

 I am a Josh Groban fanatic.  I love everything he does.  The music that comes from him is golden.  I never really watched Ally McBeal, but this was pretty much his first exposure to the public and it's awesome.  I hope you enjoy!

Laundry, my weekend pastime

 I think that I'm one of the few people I know that enjoys doing laundry but I do.  I have no idea where that came from, but it's the truth.  I remember helping out with it as an older child and teenager, but mostly Mom did it.  So I'm not sure when I started to enjoy doing it but I, unlike most people, find it relaxing.

I think that one of the reasons I do enjoy it is because it gives me a great sense of accomplishment.  This is something that I can get done every week and that makes me feel better about trying to run a household.  And the thing I love about this chore is that I don't have to sit around staring at the washer and dryer.  I can put a load in a walk away and do something else.  I know I have a certain amount of time before the cycle is done, so that challenges me to get something done in between loads.

I also enjoy the folding process.  That's not to say that I'm very good at it but I enjoy it.  I have always loved geometry and to me, this is a form of that.  Creating angles and lines.  Repeating that pattern.  I can't help it.  I enjoy it.  Strange, I know.  But I really do enjoy trying to recreate the fold over and over again, perfecting it.  It doesn't always turn out that way, but I do try!

I do Michael's laundry as well.  He does not like doing it and since I don't mind, I am happy to get his done.  I love being able to do something useful for him, not that I'm not useful every day but still I like that feeling.  Michael doesn't like the artificial scents that come with most laundry detergents, so I let him buy what he wants and likes and use it for both of us.  Works out well that way.

I'm sure that I would not like laundry as much if I had to do it like my great grandmother had to.  A washing board is not my idea of fun.  But I wouldn't mind hanging clothes out to dry if I had a decent line to put them on.  I remember Mom used to do that.  We had a few lines hanging between trees in the back yard.  I don't know if this was before we had a dryer, but I do remember it.  As a small kid there was almost nothing quite as fun as running through the sheets that were blowing in the breeze.  Ah, well.

I've gotten on load done so far this morning and there are at least 6 maybe 7 more to go before my task is done.  Until then, time for more coffee!

That is all.

Sometimes it's hard to get everything done

 For the life of me, I do not think I will ever fully understand how my parents were able to do all of the things that they did on a daily basis.  As much as I try to get things done, both practically and socially, I never seem to manage it.  I have my daily list, which inevitably never gets completed each day though I do manage to get a few things accomplished.   But Mom and Dad seemed to be able to balance work, home and social aspects of life with ease.  And in all honesty, it probably was not as easy as it looked to me, but it sure did seem that way.

It's a never ending goal for me to get to that point and feel like I've got it all under control.  Or at least give the appearance of having it all under control LOL  I know that part of it simply finding the tools and the outlets for that.  And my list does help me.  I spend too much time at the computer, for one thing, and that takes away precious time from things that I could be doing that would make me feel better.  There's one solution right there, just have to really work on that (as I write this on the computer LOL)

I will always regret that, in school, if you were in band or chorus, you usually missed out on the life classes.  Things like shop or home economics weren't available to those of us that were in the arts.  There simply weren't enough classes in the day to squeeze that in. I think that should be a requirement for graduation.  We need classes in how to get through life.  And that's not because people are idiots...well at least not all people.  It's just simply because while we are doing all of this other stuff in our youth, one day we blink and we are adults with no idea how to get things done.  I'm talking about things like meal planning, paying bills, doing taxes, etc.  I would add writing checks but hardly anyone does that anymore.  I know that I would have benefitted from having had taken a class like that.  As much as I enjoyed band, that stopped upon graduation and a life class would have stayed with me.  Ah, well.

This is something I need to work on.  I know that I would enjoy life much more if I did not always feel like I was behind in everything, still working to catch up.  Don't get me wrong.  Life's not bad at all.  It can be better though.  It would be nice to have more time to enjoy things that I enjoy without the baggage of not having gotten done the things I need to.  I don't necessarily want to plan out every moment of every day, but maybe that is what I need to do for awhile so that I can get it all under control.  I don't know, but we shall see.  

That is all

Daily Challenge - letter writing

 If you read my blog or are friends with me on FB, you know that I love letter writing.  I went through periods growing up where I would write lots of letters and cards.  Then it would fall by the wayside for awhile normally because life was happening around me, but then I would pick it back up and begin again.  As an adult, at least in these years as an adult, I really love writing letters again. 

Yes, I realize that I am old fashioned.  There's no news in that statement LOL  But I, personally, enjoy getting things in the mail that aren't bills and I write letters in the hopes that others feel that same way.  And if they don't, so be it.  At least it will be something different for them to look at.  And I find it much more personal than simply sending an email.  While that is convenient, letter writing takes some thought and some effort.  It shows how someone took the time to think of you and wanted to let you know that.  I think that is wonderful and I love it.

My new challenge for myself is to write a letter every day.  I realize that I may not be able to do one each day, but I can try.  As with being a kid, life happens around me as an adult so I have to make adjustments.  No shame in that.  But I keep track of the letters that I write and I need to step up my game.  Here we are in the middle of February and I've only gotten 3 letters out so far.  Not a good rate!  And I have lots of stationary to use up.  I do love buying stationary and cards, but that's for another blog.

So, we shall see how this goes.  I enjoy the peace of sitting down and putting pen to paper.  I find it relaxing and who couldn't use more relaxation in their lives? I love surprising people who would never expect to get a letter in this age of technology.  It makes me happy so why not try to do that every day?  Ah, well.  Time for me to refill my coffee and sit down and jot a note to someone.  Who knows.  It may be to you!

That is all.