Monday, December 22, 2014

My favorite Christmas present i ever gave

One of the joys for me during the holiday season is the art of Christmas shopping.  Like most people, i try to start early.  Sometimes i am successful, sometimes not.  But, for me, there is nothing like finding that unique perfect gift.  Something that no one suspects because i've been paying attention to the little details of peoples' lives.  Some of my gifts have been spot on, others not as much, but they all still give me a great sense of joy.

This one starts actually over 100 years ago...some history is needed.  In 1907 or 08, i'm not sure which, my great uncle, Bunyan Yates Tyner, was to be installed as the new head of the Wingate school...which later became Wingate University.  He was the 2nd head of the school.  My great aunt Mary Lee Bivens was sent to meet his train.  It was love at first sight, literally, and he proposed to her that same day.  They were married in 1909 in the Meadow Branch Baptist Church.  Despite the church being 100 years old at the time, they were the first couple married in the church.  And they were married well over 60 years before Bunyan's death in the early 70's.  However, during their engagement, Bunyan gave Mary Lee, instead of a diamond ring, he gave her a beautiful gold and pearl broach.  Odd choice, i must say, but apparently it worked.



When Aunt Mary Lee broke up housekeeping and moved in with my Aunt Sara a few years after her husband's death, she took many things with her to the homeplace in Wingate and divided everything else among her other siblings and nieces and nephews.  My Mom's oldest cousin, Margaret Carroll Sanford, wanted several of Mary Lee's things.  And, being the oldest, she tended to get what she liked.  She got a tilt top table, a Tiffany lamp, and the engagement pin.  Mom and Margaret were very close and over the years, Margaret promised to leave her most of her jewelry after her death.  When she died, she had not put those things in her will and Mom did not get them.  Whether or not Margaret's husband George knew about it, i don't know.

About 16 years later, after Margaret's death in the early 80's, George called to ask Mom if she wanted the table and a pie safe, both being family pieces.  His health had declined and was in a wheelchair, so he needed to get rid of some things so that he could maneuver around his house.  Of course, Mom was delighted to have them and a friend of ours living in FL had graciously offered to pick the items up and bring them to us when he came home to NC for the holidays.

Late the next summer, George's wife Ruth called Mom to let us know that George had passed away.  We met Ruth once on a trip to Florida we took when i was in the 2nd grade.  i did not remember much about Ruth other than she was very nice and looked an awful lot like Margaret had.

That fall, i was a senior in high school.  After Thanksgiving was when i normally started thinking about my Christmas shopping list.  And, for some reason, it occurred to me to write to Ruth and see if she was willing to sell me Aunt Mary Lee's broach.  i knew that both Mom and Grandmother really wanted to have it back in the family and so i felt that there was no harm in trying.  i did not have a great deal of money, but i certainly wasn't going to ask her to just give it away.

A few weeks went by and i didn't hear anything.  Oh well.  On the last day of school before winter break, some friends and i decided to drive to Charlotte to do some Christmas shopping, which was good because Mom was still without a gift from me.  That day, Mom was having her board of directors, staff and volunteers to our house for a holiday luncheon.  After school, i called her to let her know that we were going to Charlotte.  The first thing she said to me was "Bob, why in the world would you be getting a package, registered mail, from Ruth Sanford?"  i immediately got excited and told her to wait and that i would be home in a few minutes.

i drove as fast as i could. When i got home, Mom, Grandmother and a few of Mom's friends were cleaning up after their party.  Sitting on the kitchen table was my package from Ruth.  Before i opened it, i asked Mom and Grandmother to sit down at the table with me. i opened the box just enough to see what was inside.  There was a very old burgandy velvet jewelry box.  i cracked it open just so i could make sure it was what i was hoping.  Then, i put the box down and told them what i had done.  i took the jewelry box out of the package and presented it to Mom.  When she opened it, both she and Grandmother about fell out of their chairs.  They could not believe that i'd had the gumption to ask Ruth for the pin.  Needless to say, they were both ecstatic to have it returned to the family.  And Ruth sent a lovely note wishing all of us a Merry Christmas and how glad she was to return the pin...and did not want any money for it.

That was my favorite gift i ever gave my Mom for Christmas


Sunday, December 21, 2014

Christmas thought for the day

Last night i sat and watched a Christmas concert on PBS Roku. Not having "real" cable, we only get a few channels and finding holiday offerings on the channels we do get are few and far between.  It was a wonderful concert, the St. Olaf Choir performing in a cathedral in Norway. i do love good choral music and their choirs are among the best in the world.

One reason i enjoyed it so much is because it was something i would have sat down and watched with Grandmother. The holidays are definitely one time of the year when the absence of Mom and Grandmother are heightened. But so many memories flood back that it is almost a catch 22.  i both cherish and despise it.  Christmas is, no matter what i seem to do, one of those holidays that will never be as good as it use to be.  Don't get me wrong, i still enjoy it immensely, but it is a time of year that nostalgia definitely overtakes me and i am living in the memories of wonderful Christmases past.

One of the hardest things about the holidays, consistently, is that it is the one time of year that i regret not having children.  It is truly a holiday for children and i feel somewhat left out.  i had always dreamed of seeing the faces on my children's faces on Christmas morning after Santa had been there. The thrill of buying that just perfect gift that they want, thinking they won't get it and seeing the surprise when Santa comes through with it.  Filling up their Christmas stockings with fun silly things. Finding the hiding places in the house to store Santa's haul. It wasn't until years after Mom died that Dad told us where they had always hidden most of our Christmas gifts....the trunk that i now use as a coffee table.

And i do feel left out of a certain joy of the season. i distinctly remember laying in bed, i was about 4 or 5, and i couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve because i was so excited. i just knew i was hearing Santa's sleigh bells outside. i gazed out the windows for what seemed like hours until i finally fell asleep.  And sure enough, when i woke up the next morning, Santa had been there. It was just such a wonderful feeling and i can only imagine the joy my parents felt.  It must have been something.  But, that is how life goes.  I suppose using my imagination is better than nothing.