Quote of the Day

 

I came to the decision yesterday that my happiness is important.  Going forward, I am going to seek out that which makes me happy.  That is all

Reconnecting to Sunday Dinner

 Every Sunday while growing up there was a family meal.  It was usually Sunday lunch after church.  It was either at our house or Grandmother's.  Occasionally, we would be invited to someone else's home for Sunday lunch and that was always nice.  Some times, we would go out for lunch, usually to The Palace or sometimes The Oriental in Charlotte.  It was always a treat.  It is that feeling of friendship and fellowship that I am wanting to reignite in my life and what better way than Sunday dinner.

We had a few friends over for dinner on Sunday. I'm hoping to get back into the tradition of doing Sunday dinners.  Maybe not weekly....as I am on a budget...but maybe every other week or monthly.  We shall see.  But one of the major reasons that I wanted to do it is because I just wanted to set my table.  I have not gotten to do that since Christmas really.  And even then we did it buffet style.  And there's nothing wrong with a buffet, trust me!

There is no question that I love setting my table.  It makes me happy.  It relaxes me.  It makes me feel accomplished.  It's the little things here, people LOL  But it also does something else for me. It connects me to people in my life that I love.  Some that are gone, some that are still here.  Each thing I use on my table reflects someone who has made an impact on my life.  Sometimes the item was a gift from that person, sometimes the item was a legacy left to me by that person. But, have no doubt that everything has some kind of significance to it, which makes setting my table and using my things all that more special to me.  

I look back at the pictures of my table from Sunday and see that all connects me to others.  I will start with the basis for this all:  my dining room table.  It belonged to Grandmother.  She bought it from a friend of the family who sold furniture.  She got a very good deal on it because it is flawed and couldn't be sold in the retail store.  You would never know it's flawed until you put the leaf in.  When the leaf is put in, it does not sit flush and is about a quarter of an inch off.  That is all, but it was enough that they couldn't put it in a shop.  She bought the chairs at Belk's in Charlotte and she and Mom did the needlepoint covers.  I love sitting at this table.  So many good memories.

I used Mom's table cloth and her china.  The runner is one Michael's Mom gave us.  The flatware was a housewarming gift from a friend who has since passed away.  The pitcher and the trivet were Grandmother's.  I bought the glasses because Aunt Sara had a set just like them.  The candlesticks belonged to Aunt Billie.  Everything has a connection to me and when I sit with my friends and family around the table, I feel so much more and that makes me happy.

So, you see, having dinner in the dining room is so much more than the food on the table.  It's the people around it for me.  It's the history of what I use.  I feel connected to so many things on so many levels just by entertaining.  And I'm ready to do more of it.

That is all.

Thought for the day

 I don't like living in fear.  Who does?  Well, I'm sure there are some people that thrive on it, but not me.  And, looking back, I have always lived being afraid of one thing or another.  Fear of not being accepted has been something I have lived with since day one.  And I have never fully gotten over that fear, despite many different things I have done to work on that.  And since the pandemic, my social anxiety has reared its ugly head again, but I'll get through it eventually.  But that's not exactly what I'm talking about this morning.

Doom scrolling is something that anyone who uses the internet does, whether or not they admit it.  Everyone does it.  And it creates in me a fear of the outside world.  It is getting harder and harder to want to do anything outside of my comfortable daily routine because of the risk that something bad could happen...either to me personally or to the world.  But on the flip side, I'm asking myself that if it all comes crashing down tomorrow...literally or figuratively...then why am I not doing more things today to live life to its fullest?  The answer?  I have absolutely no clue.

I feel like, lately, everywhere I turn I find something to be afraid of.  That can be very crippling.  Not only mentally and emotionally, but physically as well.  I keep telling myself to just suck it up and keep going and push my boundaries of safety and happiness, but I rarely do that.  I'm afraid of giving up that feeling of security.  There's a safety in being afraid but it also tends to keep things on the dull side.  And I wonder why I let these outside forces control me when I have no control over them?  I wish I knew.  Human nature, maybe?  Hmmmmm

Anyway, I want to start working through my fears and getting more out of life.  Tomorrows are never a given and I worry that my todays are not what they could be.  I have no clue as to how I will do this, but I will try.

That is all.

A Prayer for Peace

 Often times, wanting peace is one thing but knowing how to obtain peace is another.  In these crazy, chaotic times, I have no clue.  My head is spinning from everything that goes on right now and I find myself feeling helpless.  Not hopeless, but helpless.  And I need guidance.  I need guidance on how to pursue peace.  You would think that peace would be easy to get, but like most ideals it is not that simple and takes work.  Lord, guide me to a place of peace so that I can help others reach that level.

The Continuing Adventures of Just a Waiter - more training

As much as I love my job, I have come to the realization that I need more training and education if I wish to continue in senior services.  I care a lot about my residents.  I won't say that I care more about them than my coworkers, but I'm pretty far up at the top of this chain.  That I know.  But lately, I have not always been able to handle situations with the ease that I would have liked to.  I know that further training and more opportunities for me to learn will help me in this journey.

If you've read any of this series of blog entries, you will know that I work in independent living.  I don't work in assisted living or memory care.  I am always happy to help out in those buildings when I am needed, but the primary focus of my job revolves around independent living.  The problem is that not everyone who lives in IL is capable of living independently.  That's just a fact, not a judgment.

The issue arises within me, not those residents.  I don't always know how to handle situations involving residents who have memory issues or psych issues or physical issues. That's not what I've been trained to do.  And yet many of my interactions with residents involve people who have one or more of those issues.  Most of the time, those interactions are benign and easily dealt with, but not always.

I had a resident come at me with an wooden ax handle several months ago over a cancelled trip to Walmart.  Several people were able to come to my rescue and if it had not been for plexiglass, I could have been seriously injured.  Luckily I was not.  Our Wellness Director, God bless her, was able to talk the resident into a calm state.  He no longer resides there and is getting the care that he needs, which is truly important.  But I didn't really know how to handle the situation.  I've never had to deal with something like that or ever expected to deal with something like that in IL.

So, I am looking at some programs that can give me more tools to make me better equipped for things like this. If I want to continue in senior services, which I do, I think I must increase my knowledge.  Here's hoping!

Quote of the day

 

Daily Challenge Update

 Ok, ok, truth be told that follow through has never been my strong suit.  I admit that.  And with this update, that is what I need work on with my challenges.  I have done some but not nearly as much.  Now, I'm not beating myself up over that because I have been incorporating these challenges into my daily existence but I can do it more.

Drinking more water has been the most successful of my challenges.  I have a water bottle that I carry with me each day.  If I fill it up twice, that's 64 ounces.  I try to drink at least that much each day and have mostly been successful with that.  And it's amazing how water fills me up and curbs my appetite.  That's a plus.  Exercise has not been as successful, but it has happened from time to time.  As sad as that reality sounds, I can tell you that it IS an improvement.  Now that the weather is getting warmer, I hope that I can continue with those improvements.  

My letter writing comes and goes.  I keep track of each letter and card that I write and to who it is sent.  February was much better than March.   Luckily, March is not over yet so there's still time to make that up.  I enjoy it and feel much more accomplished with my day once I seal that envelope and stamp the letter haha!  It's the little things, people!

So, I will continue to work on these things and look for my next daily challenge.  I have a pretty good idea what that's going to be but I'm still keeping my options open.  Until then, I'm going to write and letter and have some water!

That is all

Recipe of the Day - Easy Strawberry Cake

 I always tend to buy strawberries when they're on sale and this case wasn't anything different.  I was not sure what to do with them though.  I've made cobblers with them and baked strawberry bread but I wanted to try something different.  I could not make up my mind, so I froze them until I made a decision.  I found this recipe online at a site called onceuponachef.com.  It sounded great and decided to try it.  Overall, I was pretty pleased with it.  I did learn that when strawberries thaw, they're pretty damn wet so use them quick LOL  I am looking forward to making this cake with other fruits as well!

Easy Strawberry Cake

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour, leveled off

1 1/2 tsps baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

6 Tbsps unsalted butter, softened

1 cup sugar, plus 2 Tbsps for later

1 Large egg

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup milk

Approximately 3/4 pound of strawberries, hulled and halved

Preheat oven to 350 and grease a 9" deep pie pan

In a bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt

In another bowl, use an electric mixer to beat the butter and sugar until fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Add the egg and vanilla and continue to beat until well mixed.  On low speed, gradually alternate adding the flour and milk until all is combined and smooth.

Transfer the batter to the pie pan and smooth it out.  Arrange the berries on top, cut side down, so that it covers the entire top.  Sprinkle with the 2 Tbsps sugar.

Bake for 10 minutes.  Then reduce heat to 325 and bake for another hour.  Bake until the cake is golden around the edges and a tester comes out clean.  

Enjoy!

Reading plays

 One of the things that I miss most about theatre is the discovery of new plays.  I simply don't read plays like I used to.  Naturally, when I was a theatre student, I read lots of plays either for class or for pleasure.  And I saw a lot of new plays.  When I was a freshman, I just loved going to see shows that I knew nothing about.  I got to see some great performances that way in some very intriguing shows.

And by discovering new plays, I don't necessarily mean plays that are current.  I always enjoyed going back and reading either classic or obscure plays that I needed to add to my repertoire.  And my taste ran the gamut from Shakespeare and Moliere to Chekov, Miller and Simon.  They weren't always the greatest of plays, but I enjoyed them none the less.

Auditioning for the shows each season in school also led to finding new material.  Sometimes I would latch onto a role after reading a play.  I did that with "Point of Order", "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "Equus".  Sometimes it worked out and I got the part.  Sometimes I did not for one reason or another.  Other times, I would only read the sides when auditioning so that, in case I didn't get the role, I would enjoy the experience of seeing the show with very few expectations.  I did that when I read for Dr. Gibbs in "Our Town".  I was surprised I had never read it or seen it before, but was thoroughly impressed with our school's production.  When I auditioned for Tony Kushner's adaptation of "The Illusion", I didn't read the whole play and loved discovering it through the rehearsal process.

I miss theatre.  I really do.  Every aspect of it.  But I think that, right now, one of the easiest ways for me to reintroduce myself to it is to start reading plays again.  Now that I enjoy reading, as an adult, that should be easy for me.  I'll add that to my list!

That is all.

Time to start getting healthy

 Once again, with the upcoming arrival of spring, it's time for some changes.  I've been working on some daily challenges that, while helpful, are not enough.  I need to do some lifestyle changes that will benefit me physically and mentally.  I got pretty depressed last night because I realized that I am just not a healthy person and that is getting in the way of my being a happy person.  Now, I know that we cannot be happy all of the time...that's just improbable.  But for me, there's a difference in being happy and being complacent.  I'm complacent most of the time simply because I like the evenness that brings.  I like maintaining the status quo but I need to be able to do that and find more happiness in that as well.  No easy task, I know.

This week, I'm going to focus on some physical changes.  As there is more daylight after work, it is time for me to utilize that more by getting outside and walking.  I know that would do my heart good....literally.  I don't get enough exercise and I'm so sluggish most days that I need this.  There are things that I want to do that require better physical health and it's now or never.  I ain't getting any younger LOL  I can do this.  I just need to focus on what my goals are and work daily to achieve them.  I should probably make a list cause that's what I do haha.  Wish me luck!

That is all.

Naps

 

Naps are something that I never enjoyed as a child, but love as an adult.  I don't remember being told to take naps much as a kid, but I'm sure I was.  No doubt that I was put down for naps many times as an infant and toddler.  I was apparently a very agreeable child, so this probably was not an issue for my parents.  I don't remember taking naps in preschool.  I don't know if we would have or not considering we were only there for half a day.  I do remember taking them in Mrs. Shell's kindergarten class.  Each day we would have to grab a mat, which were probably not the cleanest things in the world, and lay down in the darkened classroom for a certain amount of time.  I can imagine that Mrs. Shell was happy for the daily break.  Other than that, naps did not purposely take a place in my life until adulthood.  Sure, I would take naps here and there growing up but it wasn't a regular thing.  And usually it was because I was ridiculously tired.

As an adult, though, now I look forward to those naps.  I take them mainly on the weekends, but they are a luxurious addition to my day.  I look forward to just laying on the couch or the bed, letting my body relax and just enjoying the stillness.  I usually listen to music while I nap.  It soothes me.  And naps aren't always about sleeping for me.  Sometimes I just lay there awake and still.  Even then, I feel quite rested and rejuvenated afterwards.  In this crazy world, it's refreshing to have those moments of peace all to myself.  

As a result, naps have become a staple of my adult weekend routine. I normally manage to get two or three in each weekend and I love every one of them.  I never knew what I was missing out on as a child by not having regular naps.  Silly me!  I'm so much better for having learned their benefits.  I haven't figured out how to make them a part of my weekday routines, but never give up hope. Maybe I can convince work that we need to have mandatory nap times.  I mean, if our residents can sleep in the lobby, why can't we?  LOL

That is all. 

Today is going to be a better day at work

 Yes, today is going to be better than yesterday. I am determined.  Nothing happened at work yesterday.  Not that I need anything out of the ordinary to happen.  I have definitely had my fill of that for the year.  But yesterday I sat around at my desk, staring at my computer most of the day with nothing to do.  The phone didn't even ring that much it seemed.  Ah, well.

This feeling is hard for me to articulate.  I do a lot for a lot of people at work.  But yesterday was so unfulfilling and I haven't felt like that in a long time.  It's not that I need additional duties, as I feel I do enough and the company more than gets its money's worth.  I just kept having this nagging feeling that I wasn't doing my job because there really was not a job to do.  

I know that in some ways I have plateaued at work.  That's ok but it creates this constant feeling of "now what?"  I will admit that it's hard watching others around me continue to rise while I sit stationary.  And it's rare now a days to get asked to do something.  And I see duties I used to have be assigned elsewhere.  It's frustrating.

I don't know.  I just had to get it out.  Today will be better.  There will be coffee and doughnuts at least.

That is all