the hardest days of my life - part three

i packed my things and prepared to leave for home.  i got everything into my car and sat there in the parking deck in the driver's seat.  i must have sat there for an hour, not able to turn the ignition.  Not because the car didn't work but because i just couldn't.  Turning the key in the ignition meant that this was all real, that i was going home to Mom's funeral.  i was not ready for that.

Finally, i got out of the car and walked to Tate Street to a pay phone.  Why i didn't walk back to my dorm room which was much closer i have no clue.  But, i called Jennifer and asked her if her offer to drive me home was still good and that i would take her up on it.  She, of course, said yes and we met back at my dorm after i had gotten my things out of the car.  We packed them into her car and headed on our way.

Driving down Spring Garden Street, we pass Jill, who was noticeably limping.  We pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car.  "I just got hit by a car"  Jill said.  We both looked at her with a rather stunned expression.  Apparently, she was crossing the street and some woman ran into her.  She didn't even stop her car but rolled down the window to ask if Jill was ok.  i think that Jill was so stunned she didn't really know what to say and told the woman she was fine.

We detoured back to Jill's apartment and got her leg wrapped up.  And, of course, she agreed to join us on our journey to Monroe.  We climbed back into the car and started on our way.  We stopped to get gas and snacks for the trip.  i remember there was a credit card issue and so we ended up only getting gas...no snacks.  But, it's not like it was a long road trip so that was ok.

i don't remember many specifics about the road trip, only that it was full of love and laughter.  Courtney Wright had made me a mixed tape several months earlier.  i had that tape with me and so we popped it into Jen's tape player.  This was the first track:

We just howled!!!  Now if anyone says "Why Hawaii and Norway aren't near each other" to me, i will just bust out laughing.  It was a wonderful trip and such good memories.

We got home late afternoon.  It had never occurred to me that i should have called ahead and told Dad of my plans and when i'd be home.  i was just in a cloud.  But, i went into the house first.  i told Jen and Jill that i needed a moment.  i went inside and saw Dad.  We hugged for a while and i tried my best to hold it together.  Jen and Jill came in with my luggage and said their hellos.  i made sure that they knew their way back to Greensboro from the house and they were on their way.  i don't know if they will ever know how much i loved them for taking me home.  It was definitely a bright spot on a devastating day.

Not long after they left, my Uncle Bill arrived at the house with Grandmother.  That was hard, plain and simple.  She was a stoic, and in some ways i find that very admirable.  i will never know the pain of losing a child, but i think she handled with the utmost grace.  i know that it broke her heart when Mom died, but she was a trooper.

the hardest days of my life - part two

"This song is sung from a mother to her child.  Not only is it a beautiful song, but Bob chose it because it's very special to him.  It's from the last show he saw with his mother before she passed"  Melanie Ashley

i woke up the next morning and, for a few moments, i thought that everything that i had experienced over the last 8 hours had been a dream.  Then reality hit.  And the first thing i thought of that day was that i needed to tell Be Boyd.  Be was my teacher and friend and she had helped me through many things in the 3 years i had known her.  She, herself, had lost her mother the year before.  But i needed to be the one to tell her.  i didn't want her to hear it from someone else.

i got dressed and walked to the Elliot University Center on my way to Be's office.  I remember that i bought a Coke and a 100 grand bar.  I knew that i needed something in my stomach.  i walked over to the Curry building.  i knew Be would be in her office by 9 because she was doing an independent study with Sarah McKinney and Kelly Keaton.  As i passed the windows to her office, i remember telling myself to just keep it together for another few minutes.  At least until i got inside the building.

i went straight to her office and knocked on her door.  When she opened her door, i said "Be, i need to talk to you."  i fully expected her to ask me to wait until she finished her time with Sarah and Kelly.  But, apparently, i did not look good at all.  Go figure.  She said, "yes, of course" and asked the ladies to give us a moment.  Be had barely closed the door when i tried my best to get out "My mom died".  i totally fell apart, crying uncontrollably.  Be started crying and asked me to wait as she stepped outside.  She told the ladies what had happened and they came into the office to console me for a moment.  i just sat in Be's office for an hour crying.  The noise i was making was so loud that Lorraine came out of her office next door to see what was going on.  She also gave me a big hug.  Eventually, i had to leave because Be had a class to teach and i needed to get things done before i left for home.

i left Be's office and went to the theater.  i sat in the courtyard and smoked.  A few people came and went, but no one knew what was going on by then so i was able to keep myself together.  Then came Jim Wren and his drama appreciation TA's, one of whom was Jill Womack.  Jill had assisted directed the play i had just done so we had gotten to be, and still are, dear friends.  i was sitting on a bench and she took one look at me and said "Are you ok?"  i just shook my head no.  She asked "Is it your mom?"  i shook my head yes.  "What happened?"  i barely got out the words "she died" before i was a waterfall again.  Jill kindly took me in her arms and held me for the good portion of an hour.  And anyone who came by she explained to them my circumstances.  She had class at 11 and had to leave me.  She had not walked into the theater more than 2 minutes before Jennifer Avery came running out of the theater.  She almost knocked me over.  She grabbed onto me and was also crying.  She apologized that she couldn't stay with me but, like Jill, she had to be in class.  She offered to take me home but i told her i was ok.  At that time, i thought i was.  She headed back into the building and i headed back to my room to pack.  Little  did i know that driving wasn't really an option for me then.  

Recipe of the week - chicken casserole

One of my favorite "go to" recipes.  Grandmother made this a lot and I still love it.  It tastes great, it's easy and it brings back such wonderful memories!  Enjoy!

2 cups cook diced chicken
1 cup slightly cooked celery
2 cups cooked rice
1 can cream of mushroom soup
3 Tblsp chopped onion
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1 can sliced water chestnuts, drained
1/2 cup sliced almonds (optional)
2 cups crushed cornflakes
1/2 stick margarine, melted

Mix first 8 ingredients;  put in medium-sized casserole.  Mix cornflakes with melted butter;  sprinkle over top of casserole.  Bate 45 minutes at 350 degrees.  (Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Dressing Mix can be substituted for crushed cereal)

I have used the dressing mix before and it's great!