The Continuing Adventures of Just a Waiter....when someone is passing

When you work in the senior industry, death is an inevitable factor that we are faced with.  It comes with the territory and there is nothing that can be done to stop it.  The same as in our lives, too. It is something that just must be dealt with and handled with as much dignity as possible.  Each death is different, so there is not standard with which to process it.  At least, in my book.  The day that how I deal with a resident's death becomes routine is the day I need to find a different career.

Heritage Greens is the home to many people.  And some of our residents choose to come back home to die.  Not trying to be blunt, but that is the truth.  Honestly, I would much prefer a resident coming back to live out his/her final days with us in the place where they love than in a hospital or hospice somewhere.  I believe that it is better for the resident and the resident's family.  Now, circumstances will not always allow that depending on medical conditions, but I firmly believe that if it can happen it should.

One of the questions we are faced in this circumstance is making the choice to go and see the resident or remember them as they were before.  It's a hard choice to make and there is no right answer.  Let me repeat that...there is no right answer.  Each of us deals with death and dying differently so no one should be faulted for how they deal with a residents active passing.  I totally understand both sides of this issue.  I have been on both sides of this issue and each has their pros and cons for me.  So I can say from experience that I have been deeply affected from both.

Currently, we have a beloved resident who has come back home to spend his final days.  And we are all struggling with whether or not to go and see him.  He's still alert and smiling and talking but his body can no longer keep up.  Some have gone to see him and some have chosen not to because they want to remember him as he was.  I just want them all that your choice is valid.  We are still there for the families and helping them process all of this.  And I want you to keep in mind that we work in independent living, so it's not like we are withholding care if we chose not to go.  But it's a tough choice to make.

I am hoping to get to see him when I get back to work.  But, either way, I will do whatever I can to make this end to his life's journey as comfortable and dignified for both him and his family.  

So ends today's episode of The Continuing Adventures of Just a Waiter.  That is all

Recipe of the Day - Creamy Cucumber Salad

 This recipe popped up on my Facebook recipe group and I wanted to try it last night.  It ended up being very tasty and fairly easy and quick to put together.  The longest part of the whole thing was peeling and slicing the cucumbers.  But we both enjoyed it  and it was a great compliment to the baked salmon we had for dinner.  Hope you enjoy!

Creamy Cucumber Salad

2-3 large cucumbers, peeled and sliced*

1/2 cup sour cream

1 Tbsp dried dill**

2 Tbsps lemon juice

1 Tsp garlic powder

S&P to taste

Peel and slice the cucumbers and set in a bowl.  Mix all other ingredients until thoroughly combined.  Pour over sliced cucumbers and stir until the cucumbers are well coated.  Chill until time to serve.

*I seeded my cucumbers out of personal preference in this kind of salad

**Either I copied the recipe down wrong or the author really liked dried dill.  I only use 1 tsp of dried dill and it's the perfect amount for me

Enjoy!

My BFA Class

 I think a lot about my theatre experience in college.  It was an emotionally tumultuous time for me but I survived it, in a fashion.  And I came out of those years with some of the best friends of my life.  We may not be in each others' daily lives, but we are always there in spirit.  It's nice having a group of people with which I can basically just pick up where I left off from because we have that special kind of closeness.  It's a blessing.

My BFA class was often looked at as one unit by the other theatre kids.  And yes, we truly were.  We were incredibly tight and it was rare to see only one of us.  We often travelled in pairs or quartets or packs.  We were always together in each others' business and lives.  We were a diverse group of individuals and we all went through the pains of life together.  Some of us began as teenagers, some of us were older students.  But we all just got it and meshed very well.

I often think back to our group and how truly young we were then.  And I still view us today as this group of young, awkward kids finding their ways through life.  Very few of us followed through on the acting career and now we're in all sorts of work environments.  Some did, though, and have had some success.  Some of the group are parents now.  Some have been through divorce.  Some of have lost loved ones close to them.  One has lost her life.  And that was a blow none of us saw coming.  But she's still with us, watching over us I have no doubt.

I'm ready to reconnect not only with theatre but with my theatre friends.  I miss them so much.  This is one instance I am grateful for the internet as we can keep up.  But it's time for some real time with these folks.  It's been too long and life is too short to not  spend time with the ones you love.

That is all.

It Is Well With My Soul

 As I go into my day today, I look for something to calm me.  Something to keep me from the irrational and keep me level headed.  That may sound strange but that is what I am looking at today.  Yesterday, I had the true realization that a part of my life has gone as far as it can go and it's time to take a new direction.  My goal today is to go into the lion's den and not burn any bridges.  So, I turn to not only one of my favorite hymns for guidance but also one of my favorite pieces of music ever.  This version is absolutely beautiful and just what I needed to help me this morning.

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

Quote of the Day

 I'm really feeling this one today!

Daily Challenge Update

 It's time for me to bump up my daily challenges and I'm not sure how exactly to do that.  Some things have been going really well such as water intake and taking more time with my appearance for work.  Some things have been up and down.  I did really well exercising last week and have not been so good this week.  My letter writing is way down.  I think I only got out 10 letters last month.  Overall, my spending has been very deliberate, even though I did treat myself to a few small things at the antiques store on Sunday.

So, now I'm trying to figure out how to get myself to do better.  Maybe I can find a reward for getting certain things done?  Rewards systems always seem to be beneficial, so why not do one for myself?  I don't know what kinds of rewards I would enjoy but it is definitely something to look into. Now, I know, deep down that the biggest reward should be my own satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.  Yes, that's great..blah, blah blah, but sometimes you want something tangible and I'm thinking that might be fruitful.  We shall see.

But, all in all, I am happy with the baby steps I am taking.  While this update is not very detailed, at least I have a few improvements to update.  I'm getting there step by step.  One day at a time!

That is all

The Small Pitcher

 One of the shelves of my curio cabinet sits a small pitcher.  It is white with blue trim and pink flowers.  It's about 6 inches tall and has a very delicate handle.  This was Grandmother's and it's among many of her wonderful treasures I possess.

Often when you think about children's toys, you think of things like dolls, games, toy trucks, etc.  Things children typically played with.  And in this day and age, these items are often made of plastic don't always survive the destruction of a child.  But that's ok because that is what toys are for.  To be played with.  I would not exactly call this pitcher a toy, but Grandmother received it when she was a child.

I can only imagine what a child's birthday party was like in the early 1900's.  I think they are probably a lot like the parties today:  music, food, presents, games.  No doubt that those things were different from their contemporaries, but the atmosphere of the parties was probably much the same as today.  Grandmother had a birthday party when she was about 8 years old.  So, we're talking 1917.  Considering that they lived in a small town and a huge farm, I often wonder how many other children lived nearby.  But none the less she had a party.

At that time, there was one place to shop in person in Wingate, NC.  It was J.L. Austin's Mercantile.  I'm not exactly where it was located in Wingate.  Probably on Main Street.  At least I think it's Main Street.  Anyway, that's where the post office is and I imagine that the store was nearby.  To me, it's not that far from the homeplace, but 100 plus years ago, I'm sure it was a little haul.  But, I digress.  That's where you bought everything...including birthday presents.

I don't know the details of Grandmother's birthday party and I regret that I never asked her about it.  But she had two beautiful pieces that were gifts to her that day.  One is a beautiful small glass plate with gold trim.  It's now in my secretary so I can see it every day.  The other one is this pitcher.  At first, you may think what kinds of gifts are these for an 8 year old.  But, considering that most of their play came from their imaginations, no doubt there would have been many tea parties where these items would have been used.

I've never used this pitcher for anything other than show and I'm totally ok with that. There are some things that are just nice to look at and have a story about.  This is one of those and one of the true antiques I own.  I will continue to enjoy it and hopefully pass this small legacy on to someone else who will appreciated it.

And I just realized that tomorrow will be Grandmother's birthday.  She would have turned 113!  So ends today's edition of "Around The House".

That is all.

A Memory - The Front Door

 Often, when I have down time at work, I will scour the internet for old houses. Sometimes I go to sites like circaholdhouses.com and look at houses, particularly in NC, that are for sale.  Sometimes, I will just type in an address or area and see what pops up.  The other day I looked up "Church street in Monroe, NC" to see what images I would get.  I have to admit that I wanted to find pictures of Isobel's house.  I couldn't remember the streets address, so I did not have any luck.  I would love to find some images though because it's been 40 years since I've been in that house. Ah, well.

I did come across a house that has family connections.  And, there were some different aspects of the listing compared to family folklore.  There is a house on Church Street that my great grandparents lived in.  I think it was at 607 S. Church street.  But don't quote me LOL  When I was growing up, this house was occupied by Fred McCallum.  He was the chairman of the board for Crisis Assistance Ministry, that my Mom was executive director for.  We had many wonderful times with Fred and his wife, whose name escapes me right now.  

Knowing my love of antiques and all things old, Fred invited us to come a tour his home. I absolutely loved it.  According to my Grandmother, the Bivens family lived in this house before building the family home home in Wingate.  It may have been while my great grandfather was register of deeds, but I'm not sure.  This is where I think the listing is wrong.  It has the building date as 1901 and our family home was built in 1897, so I believe the home is older than what they say.  Henry and Rosabelle were probably born in this house...and maybe died there as children.

As we toured the house, it was absolutely beautiful.  When we came to the kitchen, however, my eyes perked up.  That's when I noticed the back door.  It was a beautiful back door with a stained glass upper half.  And I realized that this is the exact same design of door as the front door as the family home in Wingate.  Obviously, I don't know if my great grandparents were so smitten with this door that they wanted it in their new home, but there it was.  Staring me in the face.  The only difference was the doorbell. This one had a pushbutton door bell and the one at Wingate was a twist doorbell.  I was in awe.

The home in Wingate, Edgewood Farms, was built in 1897, the same year the Uncle John was born.  I'd like to think that they loved this door so much that they ordered one for their new home.  Many times I have seen this door and imagined myself opening it up to company or to check the mail or whatever.  I love this kind of connection in history.  And it all comes back to opening doors.

That is all. 

Being Alive - Patti Lupone

 It's not secret that I love show tunes.  There is a handful of songs from shows that I really do not care for but everyone loves.  This doesn't mean that I hate the song or they're not good songs, I just don't particularly like them....unless they're in the hands of the right singer.  "Being Alive" is one of those songs that I always skip over when listening to Company.  Most of the time, I find it rather boring.  But, listening again to Ms. Lupone's version.....wow.  Just wow!