It's a strange experience going to my first important social event as a single man. This past weekend I attended the wedding of one of my best friends and his partner. This was really the first major life event I have been to since Michael and I split up. Overall, it went very well. The weekend was a lot of fun other than the outdoor wedding getting rained out. But everything worked out for the best and we all had a grand time.
It was strange to me for a few reasons. I don't always do well socially and can get very withdrawn and awkward and I was afraid that was going to happen some during the weekend. Simply being around people I didn't know or people I didn't know well could have caused that. It is my own insecurity, and I am working on that. Previously, having someone there with me would give me someone to feel more secure around and I could ride his coattails instead. Luckily, I didn't that this time. I was able to engage with people and have a good time. I am thankful for that.
Another reason it was strange was the fact that Michael wasn't there and other than the fact that we're not a couple right now, there was no other reason for his absence. The people he knew missed having him there. I did too. Despite not being together as a couple, I enjoy his friendship and he would have had a good time. I regret that he wasn't there, but that was not my choice. His absence was most definitely felt.
Anyway, I am very happy that I went and happy that I had a good time. I needed that. And it made me realize that I need more of that in my life. Not weddings necessarily, but fellowship. I work very hard all week both with my job and school and I deserve more things like this. We'll see how that goes!
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