thought for the day - social manners

One of the obstacles that faces any couple is when one half of the couple is excluded from things.  Sometimes it is easy to deal with, sometimes it is not.  Now, Michael and I have some very different interests and we do not expect each other to be involved in every single facet of each others' lives.  We're not conjoined twins, for goodness sake.  For example, if a friend of mine invited me to go antiquing for a day, i would not necessarily expect Michael to be invited.  It's not his thing, really.  And there are many concerts that friends ask Michael to go to that i am not asked because that's not necessarily my kind of music.  Anyway, it is easier to deal with these kinds of things because they are specific, small groups.  It doesn't bother me not to be asked and i hope it doesn't bother Michael.

For me, the problem arises when invitations involve a large group and one of us is excluded.  To me, it could possibly say one of two things.  One being that the husband is automatically included in the invitation.  The other being you're just not invited.  i am processing these feelings at the moment and dealing with them better than i thought i would.  Michael was invited to an event this summer and i was not.  Fine.  But there are 90 other people invited to this and it at least would have been nice to have been asked to participate.  At first, i thought it might be that it was assumed i was invited, being Michael's husband, but on seeing the guest list many couples were invited individually so that was not my case.  Sometimes it's difficult to be left out, as if i don't ostracize myself enough already lol.  Michael encourage me to go, but i told him i wouldn't.  The statement was made loud and clear.  That's life and i move on.

My point being, i think, is that when we've had gatherings at our house...which we need to do more of...i cannot imagine inviting only half of a couple.  That just doesn't seem very hospitable to me.  Now, if only one half of a couple can attend, that's a horse of a different color. 

Normally, i would get very very angry about this and delete people from facebook after making some passive aggressive post about it.  i have tried hard over the last few years, mostly being successful, in not doing that.  i recognize that sometimes i still do, but i can't quit cold turkey.  So, no deletions, no rants, no blocking people.  Just getting it off of my chest and moving on.  But, i definitely will think twice about who i invited where and to what.  Being included does matter.  That is all.

Cheers