i woke up the next morning and, for a few moments, i thought that everything that i had experienced over the last 8 hours had been a dream. Then reality hit. And the first thing i thought of that day was that i needed to tell Be Boyd. Be was my teacher and friend and she had helped me through many things in the 3 years i had known her. She, herself, had lost her mother the year before. But i needed to be the one to tell her. i didn't want her to hear it from someone else.
i got dressed and walked to the Elliot University Center on my way to Be's office. I remember that i bought a Coke and a 100 grand bar. I knew that i needed something in my stomach. i walked over to the Curry building. i knew Be would be in her office by 9 because she was doing an independent study with Sarah McKinney and Kelly Keaton. As i passed the windows to her office, i remember telling myself to just keep it together for another few minutes. At least until i got inside the building.
i went straight to her office and knocked on her door. When she opened her door, i said "Be, i need to talk to you." i fully expected her to ask me to wait until she finished her time with Sarah and Kelly. But, apparently, i did not look good at all. Go figure. She said, "yes, of course" and asked the ladies to give us a moment. Be had barely closed the door when i tried my best to get out "My mom died". i totally fell apart, crying uncontrollably. Be started crying and asked me to wait as she stepped outside. She told the ladies what had happened and they came into the office to console me for a moment. i just sat in Be's office for an hour crying. The noise i was making was so loud that Lorraine came out of her office next door to see what was going on. She also gave me a big hug. Eventually, i had to leave because Be had a class to teach and i needed to get things done before i left for home.
i left Be's office and went to the theater. i sat in the courtyard and smoked. A few people came and went, but no one knew what was going on by then so i was able to keep myself together. Then came Jim Wren and his drama appreciation TA's, one of whom was Jill Womack. Jill had assisted directed the play i had just done so we had gotten to be, and still are, dear friends. i was sitting on a bench and she took one look at me and said "Are you ok?" i just shook my head no. She asked "Is it your mom?" i shook my head yes. "What happened?" i barely got out the words "she died" before i was a waterfall again. Jill kindly took me in her arms and held me for the good portion of an hour. And anyone who came by she explained to them my circumstances. She had class at 11 and had to leave me. She had not walked into the theater more than 2 minutes before Jennifer Avery came running out of the theater. She almost knocked me over. She grabbed onto me and was also crying. She apologized that she couldn't stay with me but, like Jill, she had to be in class. She offered to take me home but i told her i was ok. At that time, i thought i was. She headed back into the building and i headed back to my room to pack. Little did i know that driving wasn't really an option for me then.
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