One of the things I have been focusing on this week is loosening the reins on the things that I have let be in control of my life over the past year. I don't want to say I'm taking back control necessarily, because something about that phrase sounds a little too Lifetime Movie for me. But, in essence, that's exactly what I'm am trying to do. In that process, I have looked back in life to things that I, at one time, enjoyed doing on a regular basis that I don't really do anymore. I did not try to stop and analyze why I stopped doing these things because I get so tired of that kind of self examination at times. It can be quite exhausting and, honestly, can be very defeating. And I am trying to focus on a more positive path moving forward.
I made a list....because I enjoy lists....of some of these things and incorporated those into my evenings. The old normal was that we have dinner and then I come into the office and sit at the computer for 2-3 hours. And I know now that was not good for my mental or physical health. Sitting in a desk chair does for an extended period does not always do a body good! I didn't do that this week. I made time to do other things....things that I enjoyed doing again. And I have to admit that was wonderful. I feel like I've had one of the most balanced weeks I have had in years. It's been pretty euphoric....in a quiet way LOL
One night I sat and watched a movie. Now, this doesn't exactly sound revolutionary but it was. I actually watched it, focused on it. I didn't have my phone in hand playing games or checking FB. I just sat and watched. And I'm glad I did because it was confusing as hell LOL It was a classic black and white mystery called The Mystery of the 13th Guest. It was not really that good and genuinely terribly confusing with plot twists that made absolutely no sense. Still, it was a nice way to pass the time and just be in the moment.
I colored one night. A while back I'd bought some crayons and some coloring books with the intention of coloring on a regular basis. Well, let me tell you that coloring books for adults are pretty freaking hard. Crayons don't work with those. I had also gotten some colored pencils when I realized the crayons were too fat to fill in those teeny spaces. Then I realized that I wasn't good at it and got frustrated. Anyway, going through stuff in the garage, I found a nice stack of my childhood coloring books. There were plenty of unmarked pages in them because I never finished anything as a child on a regular basis. So I pulled those out with my crayons, sat down at the dining room table, put on some music and colored for about an hour and a half. The feelings I got from that were just incredible. Of course it took me back to a simpler time in my life, but those feelings enveloped me this time and weren't just something I was viewing on the movie screen in my head. I took great comfort from doing that and I look forward to spending more evenings that way.
One night I played solitaire. Another wild thing to do, I know. But I have about 50 sets of vintage playing cards....most of them older than myself, that came from Grandmother. And I don't use them. I have solitaire on my phone but I decided to take out a deck and play. And, yes, it took me back to Grandmother's house. She kept her cards in a built in cabinet in her den. The cards smelled like that cabinet...a very comforting fragrance to me as we played cards so many times. I only won one out of six games of solitaire, but I enjoyed it none the less.
Last night, I stitched. I haven't picked up a needle and thread in over 30 years. Several Christmases ago, Michael got me a Golden Girls cross stitch kit and it's been living on a bookshelf in the office ever since. I got it out and went to work on a new project. I tend to listen to music when I do these things and last night was no different....Nancy Wilson, Amici Forever, The Chieftains....all good background music. It took awhile to get my rhythm back with stitching, but I managed to do it. I even managed to play a movie game with Michael while I was stitching. I always enjoyed this kind of needlework because I don't draw or paint. I can create something beautiful on a canvas and it actually comes out looking like it's suppose to. I'd forgotten how mathematical needlework is. I love math and numbers so this is right up my alley. Now, I just have to decide what to do with the piece once it's finished.
Anyway, these are a few ways that I enjoyed spending my evenings this week. We even managed, one night, to get down to the arboretum for a nice evening walk....starting to check exercise off my list! I am slowly adding things to my activities list that I think I will enjoy. And if I don't, then I will simply remove them and not worry about it. Trying to open myself up with the assistance of good memories. Not reliving them, but repurposing them. I look forward to the new old things I will do next week. I will keep you posted!
That is all
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