thought for the day

And another week has come to a close.  Time seems to go by much more quickly the older i get.  And that is ok because it makes me more aware of how precious time is.  It is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.  Not to sound morbid or anything like that, but over the past few days i have thought a lot about how i spend my time.  As i have said before, time management is not my strongest skill.  It is one i am working on, but still have a ways to go with that.

While most people find housework irritating, it is one thing that i usually enjoy spending my time doing.  i like it when things are neat and put away, when each thing has its place.  i use to beat myself up over that because i thought i was just wasting time on something that did not matter in the long run.  But, i realized, that i was not wasting time because i enjoyed it.  i like my lists and getting things accomplished on them is a good use of my time.

This year, i want to use my time better.  After being around people last night, i want more of that.  And it does not necessarily have to be a party setting. i do not make enough time for people in my life and because of that there are not that many people actually in my life.  Now, i have finally come to the understanding that this philosophy does not mean i do not have friends it just means that i do not use my time for my friends.  That was a huge revelation to me.  And i also realized that spending my time with friends does not have to be a huge production either.  i do love to host a good function at our house, but it does not have to be that.  Small, intimate times are usually the best anyway.

This week, i have a few dates with friends...coffee, dinner, etc., and i am very much looking forward to it.  It will make a nice balance in between time doing homework and household chores :)

Cheers

thought for the day

It seems lately that when i get invited to do things, they all seem to happen on the same day.  Last weekend, i had 3 different things that i wanted to do on Saturday.  i got so frustrated in trying to decide what to do that i ended up doing nothing and stayed at home.

Today, i have 2 different invitations to 2 different things that i would love to be at.  A friend of mine is hosting an after holidays party and another friend of mine is having a game night.  At one, the crowd will be primarily gay.  The other, straight.  At one, there will be lots of people i know.  At the other, not so much.  Food and drinks at both, though,  And that's a good thing.

For awhile today, i was not feeling well and just decided that i would not go to either.  But, as the day has progressed, i am feeling better and i figured that i might as well get out of the house and at least try to be social.  So, i decided to go to the party instead of the game night.  Michael's going to the game night, which is fine, but i there will be a few people at the party that i know that i have not seen in awhile.  And Bethann, the hostess of the party, is the only one of my friends who actually offered to do something with me on my 40th birthday, so i want to repay her kindness of the invitation.  That's important to me.

So, i am sure it will be a fun evening.  We shall see...as long as my sinuses don't flare up!

Cheers

thought for the day

An interesting, and yet scary, thing occurred to me today on campus.  In between my Tues/Thurs classes, i like to go to the library to do my homework.  i have a little over 3 hours to kill, so might as well make the most of it.  Anyway, after i finished up my studying, i made my way down the stairs from the 6th floor.  As i walked past each floor, i noticed how the stairwell was empty.  No one else was using it really but me at that time.  While i was on the 6th floor studying for a few hours, many people came and went via the elevator, but no one ever came by stairwell.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about how in kindergarten thru high school, we always had to know where the exits were in each building in case of fires.  Now, with the direction society goes in at times, when i go into any building on campus for a class or whatever, i now look for the exits.  Not in case of a fire, but in case of some kind of shooting or massacre.  I cannot decide if i am being safety conscious or overly paranoid.  Probably somewhere in between.  But, especially when i am in class, i look around and think to myself "What is my easiest escape route in case something should happen?"  i try to sit accordingly.  Of course, i sit up towards the front so i can hear better and get the most of the money that i am spending, but i do make my escape routes in my head.

Let us all hope i never have to use those escape routes.

Cheers

recipe of the week - Chocolate Delight

This is a dessert that has been around for ages.  Mom first discovered it in an issue of Southern Living in the late 70's or early 80's.  It was a dessert staple in our household.  It is one of those desserts that i took for granted growing up.  i always enjoyed it, but now that i've started to make it myself, i appreciate it so much more.  i think it's because it brings back a flood of memories for me.

Enjoy!

Chocolate Delight

1.5 cups of flour
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup chopped pecans, divided
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup of powdered sugar
1 tub of whipped topping, divided
2.5 cups of milk
3 sm packages of instant chocolate pudding

To make the crust, combine flour, butter and 1/2 cups of pecans into a dough and press into the bottom of an 8x12 pan.  Bake at 350 for 15 minutes, then let it cool completely.

1st layer - mix together cream cheese, powdered sugar and 1 cup of whipped topping.  Spread this over your cooled crust.

2nd layer - whisk together milk and pudding until nice and thick.  Spread over cream cheese layer.

Then combine remaining  whipped topping and pecans and spread over chocolate layer.

Refrigerate until ready to serve.  i like to let it refrigerate for 24 hours so that it is nice and cold.

*Mom's recipe called for melted butter, but i only soften mine.  For me, it makes an easier dough to work with.
*i like to put the dish back into the refrigerator after each layer for about an hour, so that it sets well before i put the next layer on.
*Grandmother, at Christmas, would change the recipe into Peppermint Delight by mixing vanilla pudding and crushed peppermint sticks and substituting that for the chocolate layer!

thought for the day - putting Christmas away

i have been taking my own sweet time putting my Christmas decor away.  i enjoy it, so why be in such a rush to get rid of it?  It makes me sad when i see all of those Christmas trees out on the street, waiting to be picked up by the garbage collectors, on December 26th.  It's almost like people don't cherish it anymore.  Maybe they are just tired of it seeing as the media starts shoving Christmas down our throats well before Halloween is even here (which, actually, i despise how commercialistic that is)

For me, it is almost as much fun to put the decorations away as it is to put them out.  When i am packing them away in boxes, i get to relive their history and the memories that each one holds.  And, i can tell you just about where all of my decorations came from.  It is fun for me and i look forward to next Christmas to do it all over again.

And the music...i cannot say that i miss the music because i listen to it all year round.  i try not to subject anyone else to it during non holiday times, but i still enjoy it.  And i was determined to get through all of my Christmas records before i put them back in their storage spot.  That was roughly 70 records, so it took some time.  i listened to the last of them while i was taking the tree down on the 12th lol  Of course, then when i was putting things away, i found a box of Christmas CDs that i had not heard this year yet, so they are still sitting out, waiting to be listened to.  i am about halfway through them :)

This was the first year we have had a live tree.  i did not realize how much i missed having one.  Getting it out of the house and out to the curb almost killed me. It was just hard to do because it meant the holidays were really over.  When i saw it in the back of the garbage truck, i almost ran after it to get it back.  Alas, i did not.

But, it is all put away now, except for those few CDs i have left to listen to.  The reason i do not like to take Christmas down is because what it means to me in my life thus far.  It is a time of hope.  A time to put away differences and celebrate something more important.  It is a spiritual time for most of us, no matter which religion you practice or if you practice one at all.  It is a time when families come together and create memories.  It is a time for believing in things that are beyond human tangibility. And i become afraid that i did not make the most of my time.  What if this was my last Christmas?  Did i do all that i could to create a Christmas that people will remember one day?  That's why i do not like it to end, because i never feel like i did enough.  Maybe i did, maybe i did not.  i do not know, but i did try and that is all i can ask of myself.  i really need to take the way Christmas makes me feel and carry it with me throughout the year.  I love Christmas enough that there is no reason for me not to.

Well, Michael's in bed now, so i think i will put on one of those Christmas CDs and relax.

thought for the day - being late

As Michael can tell you, i truly cannot stand to be late to anything...anytime...anywhere.  It drives me absolutely bonkers.  i don't really know why i am like this, as i do not remember any childhood experience where i was traumatized for being late...unless it is something subconscious and has not been awakened in my long term memory yet.  i get so tense...sometimes called for, sometimes not, when i am afraid of being late.  i am that person that will show up on time to whatever you invite me to...usually.  I try my best not to be early, but that sometimes happens. 

This morning, for example, i had to drop Michael off at the train station so he could make the train to work.  We had plenty of time to get there.  But, as it got closer to the time i thought we should leave, i started to get anxious.  i knew in my head that we had plenty of time, but i kept thinking of all of the possibilities of things that might happen to delay us and make Michael miss his train.  Of course, we got there in plenty of time and all was well....until....

i actually got home earlier than i thought from the train station, so i did not rush to campus as i had expected i might have to.  My class is at 10AM and i walk to campus.  It takes about 15-20 minutes in the cold weather to get there...what can i say, i walk slower when it's cold.  Anyway, i go outside a little after 9 to check the mail, turn to go back inside and realize i have locked myself out of the house.  Of course, i start worrying that i am going to be late for my class and i have to be there today because we were taking a quiz of sorts that pertains to our class activities next week.  i am trying to remain calm and go next door to get the spare key from Lois.  Naturally she is at work and the spare was not where it usually hangs, so no luck there.  Then, i decided to check with my landlords, who live around the corner.  Luckily, i ran into Lynn just as she was leaving the house to walk the dog.  Big relief.  Got the key, got in the house, got my bookbag and my keys and headed back out to return her key.  It was a little after 9:30 when i started making my way to campus.  Trying to walk faster and faster with each step so that i wouldn't be late.  And i did make it on time with about 5 minutes to spare...and a good sweat and tight legs lol

Long story short...i hate being late

Cheers

thought for the day

i woke up very blah this morning.  i do not really know why, but i did.  i was not depressed, just blah.  i slept well, though.  And thanks to the nicotine patch, i had some strange fun dreams.  The last one being in a handbell choir with Elizabeth Taylor.  i wish that one had played out, so to speak, but alas my alarm went off and i am not one to sleep through that!

Anyway, after breakfast and watching the Oscar noms, i got dressed and trudged to school.  It was not too cold, but cold enough.  And found my spot in Econ class.  Oddly enough, that brightened my day.  My professor seems to really be enjoying us so far and that makes a total difference.  This is one of those subjects that i am better going to understand learning from him than from the book.  i was not totally confused by the chapter we had to read, but having him explain it made things much clearer.  And he has a great personality, so that helps.

And then i walk home to find my block blocked off.  Great fun!  The city has been replacing the sewer pipes on our street for almost 3 weeks now.  i do not really know why it takes so long, but there you have it.  Anyway, they pick today for some reason to barricade my particular block so that i cannot get out of the driveway and no one can get through at all right now.  This is frustrating because i was suppose to deliver groceries to THP clients in between classes and now i cannot do that.  i got pretty angry and upset over that because these people are counting on the food.  Luckily, Ken Keeton, God bless him, who organizes the volunteers, was able to find someone to cover my route for today.  It just made me very anxious that i cannot personally do what i volunteered to do.  But, i am glad that he was able to find someone to take the route today.

Long story short, things work out for a reason so i need to just let go of the frustration and see where life takes me.

Cheers