It's not enough

 Do you ever have those moments when you just stop and look around and think to yourself "This is no longer enough"?  And I don't mean enough like enough stuff.  I have enough stuff.  I'm talking more about the quality of what you have going on in your life.  Or is it just me?  I seem to be having those moments more and more lately.  While there are portions of my life that are being built up to a level that I am grateful for, there are many things that I have become disillusioned with.  I hate to say that, but it's true. 

Some days, getting up and getting ready for work is very hard.  Today is one of those days.  It's not because I don't enjoy my job.  It's because I believe I can do so much more.  Anyone can do what I do at work and at the end of the day if I was not there, it would not make a huge difference.  Now, I'm sure some of the people that I work with may disagree with that, but that's the feeling I keep getting.  And that's not a good way to spend the majority of my day.  

Today, I know that I am feeling this way because of the loss of a great icon who was one of the best humanitarians to grace this planet.  I think about the difference she made in so many lives.  Not that I could ever be on that level, but it would be nice to feel like I had a purpose. Not that I don't have a purpose, really, but I am ready to make more of a difference in life than I do.  I am not sure where these feelings will take me today, if anywhere.  What I do know is that if I do not do anything about these feelings, I will let them overtake my existence and that's not good.  I will begin to overcompensate and from experience I know that will end badly for me.  

I will figure it out.  I'm not sure what is in store, but I plan on taking these feelings and making something productive and constructive out of them.  I want to make a difference.  Not only for others but for myself.  That is all.