Today, i am in a funk. Actually, it started last night but it's still here. There are several reasons that i am in a funk...i know this...and i don't like it but that is the hand i have been dealt this week. Ah, well.
One, this weather really affects me. i am tired of all of these cloudy days. Where is the sunshine? yes, we have had a few nice days of springlike weather recently and that, i think, did more damage more than good. It was just a tease of how i want the weather to be. Now, we're back to overcast and cloudy and it really affects my mood.
Two, this week is the anniversary of Mom's death. i always know it is coming and it always affects me differently. i'm trying not to get depressed about it, but for some reason this year, i am. Maybe it is because i turned 40 this year and that is the age when things started to go downhill for Mom. Maybe it is the fear that i will be following in her footsteps and i still have so many things left to do on my bucket list. i don't know. i do know that i miss her and some days are just harder than others.
Third, school is stressing me out. i enjoy it, don't doubt that. It is a wonderful environment and my professors are great. i am just having a harder time with classes this semester. Things are not clicking for me like they did last year. Math based classes are a different kind of thinking that i have not had to do for a long time and i just have not caught up yet. And i am so bad about procrastinating that i get behind so easily. i really do need to work on that because it will make things go more smoothly in the long run.
And i have a few more personal issues to work thru that seem to rear their ugly heads when i get depressed and in a funk. i know that i just have to suck it up and change things and get things done. It will be a huge burden lifted if/when i do that. And after 40 years, i think i deserve to treat myself to some happiness. Happiness is so much easier to obtain than i let it be. i am tired of making things so difficult. Period.
Cheers
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment