An old family photo - Margaret Carroll

Margaret was the only child of Janie and Grover Carroll.  She was born in 1923.  This particular photo was taken in the front parlor of the family home in Wingate, NC.  There are other photos of other members of the family taken during this photo session.  It was taken somewhere around 1926-27.

Thought for the day

As much as i enjoy having a day off every now and then, i also hate it sometimes.  No matter what, i almost can never get motivated to do the things that i need to do when i'm off.  Now, i realize that yes, it's my day off so i shouldn't force myself to do anything.  i should relax.  But somehow, i always feel like i have wasted my day and yet i cannot seem to find the motivation that i want.

i did, though, come to the decision that i am tired of living in regret.  That has actually been a good conclusion for me to come to because that will, i'm hoping, motivate me.  And even though i am very regretful for things i have done in the past, i am more regretful of the things that never happened.  It's hard for me to articulate it, but it makes sense in my mind.

Today is a gray day.  The temperatures are in the mid 70's and it has been cloudy all day.  Rain has occurred off and on throughout the day.  Days like this make me think of old houses.  Luckily, i happen to live in an oldish house...something from the 40's.  But i tend to think about the family homes and wishing they were still in the family.  i have spent many hours throughout my life fantasizing about living in these houses and wishing i did.  Of course, the obvious one is Aunt Sara's house in Wingate.  It's falling in on itself now and i wish Dad had wanted to take a chance and buy it.  i think he regrets that decision at times as well.  And Grandmother's house in Monroe.  Sometimes i wish i had bought that house.  It was such an important part of my life for so long that i wish that i lived there.  And then there was Aunt Billie's house in Wilmington.  Such a beautiful home and it still is.  Sadly, Billie had intended on making changes to her will but never got around to it, so that one bit the dust as well.

i don't know.  it's just the way my mind works.  While it's nice to fantasize, there's almost nothing to be done about it now.  As i said, it's in the past.  But, i do get tired of thinking about that kind of thing too much.  So i am going to make an effort to make more out of each day.  Big things, little things, either way...just living to my best capacity and getting the most out of the time i have.  That is all.

Cheers

Recipe of the week - Beet Pickles

This is such an easy and tasty recipe for beet pickles.  i got this from Dad's wife, June, who got it from Nancy Walters from Monroe.

3 cans of beets
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
1 cup of vinegar

Drain beets.  Heat water, sugar and vinegar thoroughly on the stove top until the sugar is completely dissolved.  Place the beets in jars or other air tight containers.  Pour marinade over beets.  Place in refrigerator at least 24 hours before serving.  Will keep for several weeks in the fridge.

You can use either whole beets or sliced.  i prefer sliced.

Enjoy!

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.  A Pitcher of Cut Flowers

2. Buddy Cole

3.  Coke in a glass bottle

4.  Emmet Otter

5.  Part of Your World

6.  Tap Dancing

7.  The theme from Anne of Green Gables

8.  Jigsaw Puzzles

9.  Presents under the Christmas Tree

10.  Squirt snuggling up in bed

Faith and reflection - Prayer of St. Francis by Allen Pote

This is another song we sang in the youth choir when i was growing up.  We learned it as part of the Baptist Youth Choir Festival that we participated in.  Of course, this is not us singing, but it is the same arrangement by Allen Pote.  Beautifully done and very powerful words.

Thought for the day - Sunday morning

Sometimes, it is nice to have a quiet Sunday morning.  It's been a long week in some ways.  i have been depressed....over the usual stuff.  There's no getting around it and i must just work my way through it as i normally do.  But, this morning was refreshing for me.  i woke up around 6:30.  No one else was up yet.  i, as is my routine, started my coffee and went out on the porch to feed white kitty...she's always waiting for me even though 6:30 is late for her breakfast...and she lets me know that.

i sat at the computer for awhile and checked my mail and did my crossword puzzles...listening to Sunday Morning Baroque and With Heart And Voice on NPR...two of my favorite programs.  i sat on the porch and had more coffee and bonding with white kitty.  i sat and read the Sunday morning paper in the living room.  It was all just very peaceful.  No cars running up and down the street yet.  Squirt was still asleep so he wasn't barking at everything that went by.  i found the whole morning rejuvenating. It's nice to have those kinds of days.

Growing up, Sundays had more ritual and routine than any other day of the week for me.  i think it's because, even with school being out during the summer, my Sunday schedule never really changed.  At home, there was rarely ever television on before church.  We ate breakfast and shared the paper before getting ready for church.  Now, if i had spent the night with Grandmother, i got to watch tv until the last possible moment that i had to get ready for church.  That was our little secret.

Then, the rest of the day was and is just as relaxing.  There's always a nap involved...at least for the adults.  Mom and Dad usually took afternoon naps and now i find myself doing the same thing.  Nothing too long, just a half hour or so of snoozing and i feel refreshed.  Today, i have nothing on my list on purpose.  i will just go with the flow.  Hopefully i will get motivated to do at least one productive thing but if i don't today, i'm ok with that.  It's my day off after all...that's how God planned it.

Cheers!

Quote

"You are who you are when nobody's watching"

                                                                                     Stephen Fry

showtune of the week - Glitter and Be Gay

The operetta version of Voltaire's Candide by Leonard Bernstein opened in December of 1956.  While in some ways it is an odd choice for a musical, it really isn't an odd choice in other ways.  i just think that this show was way ahead of its time and would have been a smash hit if it had first opened today.  "Glitter and Be Gay" was first introduced to the world by Barbara Cook.  It is a wonderful piece for a soprano to show off with.  And almost no one does it better than Kristin Chenowith in this concert performance.  Enjoy!

An old family photo - Mary Lee Bivens Tyner

This is another picture of Mary Lee Tyner.  There is no date on this but it looks like it was taken some time between 1904 and 1909, before she got married.  Stunning woman.

Thought for the day - telemarketers

Because i do not answer my phone if the number that appears is unknown to me, i had forgotten just how annoying telemarketing calls can be.  Now, i understand that people have jobs to do and so i try to be patient, yet firm when i am on the receiving end of one of these calls.  i answered one yesterday because the number was a local number and i thought it might be one of my coworkers that i do not have in my phone yet.  We also have a new area code in Greensboro, so i really wasn't sure who it might be when i answered.

i  do not know if they have new tactics now or if because people get new cell phone numbers frequently that they do not update their information.  Either way, when i answered the phone yesterday the woman on the other end asked to speak to Adam.  i told her "i'm sorry, there was no one here by that name."  She pounced on that with "Well, maybe you can help me out then" and launched into her spiel before i could stop her.  Being polite, i listened to her as she asked for donations for breast cancer research.

Now, don't get me wrong, i think breast cancer research is an incredibly worthy cause.  However, at the moment, i am on a fixed income.  Well, not really fixed but i do live paycheck to paycheck right now.  i explained this to the woman on the phone....twice.  She was very nice about that and told me that any amount i could give would be most helpful.  So, i asked her to send me some information and if i had any extra funds that i would be happy and will to donate what i could.  After all, Mom had breast cancer and i know there's a cure out there somewhere.

Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that she would be glad to send me some information.  Then she explained that they had 3 levels of giving:  gold, silver and bronze and proceeded to tell me how much money was given for each level.  Then she asked me which level did i want to be and i had to explain to her AGAIN that i live check to check.  In my mind, i wasn't sure that i could even afford the bronze level but i didn't tell her that.  But i got irritated that she told me any amount i could give would be appreciated but then laid these amount requirements on the giving.   Was she not listening to me?  After explaining myself three times already?

i hung up.

When i have a more solid base of income, i will be happy to donate.  But please do not say "we'll accept anything" and then tell me there's a minimum to giving.  K bye!

Cheers

Thought for the day - laundry

When i have an entire day off during the week, that means it's going to be laundry day.  Today is such a day for me.  Unlike a lot of people, i do not mind doing laundry.  In fact, i enjoy it.  i enjoy sorting clothes.  i enjoy folding...i normally put a dvd in while i'm folding clothes in the bedroom.  Michael does not enjoy doing laundry, but i don't mind at all.

A few weeks ago while we were camping, Michael bought a few new t-shirts.  So, today he asked me to wash them but not to put them in the dryer, but wondered if i would hang them out on the line to dry.  No problem.  We have plenty of clothes pins and three lines out back.  So, i also decided to dry some of my clothes that way as well.  Just to see how long it took and to save a little on the energy bill by not running the dryer quite as much.  Once the sun came out full force, it really didn't take that long for my shirts to dry.  i did notice a difference however.  It was as if someone had starched them.  They were dry but stiff as a board.  i wasn't really expecting that kind of result.  There's nothing wrong with it, but it just wasn't what i had planned on.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about doing laundry with Mom.  Before i started kindergarten, i would help her to hang out the clothes to dry in the backyard.  i don't know how much help i was because i couldn't reach the clothesline LOL  But i do remember standing there and holding the pins for her and bringing her wet clothes from the basket.  Now, i don't remember if we had a dryer at that time and Mom was just saving money or if we didn't have one yet at all.  Either way, i do remember being out there helping.  And, if a storm came up, having to run out and try to snatch up all of the clothes before they got too wet and then start all over again.  Those were good times.  It's the little things such as that that make for fond memories of childhood.

So, today, while i was hanging out my shirts to dry, i thought of Mom....i thought of the old clothesline...i thought of rain...i thought of childhood...and i smiled.

Cheers

Recipe of the week - meatloaf

i love meatloaf and i'm not exactly sure why lol  it's not something that Mom made....at least i cannot ever remember having it at home.  i'm sure it was in the elementary school lunch rotation, but i doubt if that version sparked my love for it.  So, i'm not really sure why i enjoy it so much.  Probably because it can be a close 2nd to a good hamburger.  Anyway, up until about 2 months ago, i had never made a meatloaf.  i have been waiting until i found a good, basic recipe for one.  After a couple of tries, i came across this basic recipe that we have enjoyed on several occasions.  Enjoy!

2.5 lbs ground beef
1 onion, chopped
1.5 cup bread crumbs
1.5 cup milk
1 egg
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup mustard
1 tbsp brown sugar

Combine first six ingredients.  Shape into a loaf.  Place the loaf into a greased loaf pan or pyrex dish.  Combine ketchup, mustard and brown sugar and stir until blended.  Pour over meatloaf.  Bake at 350 for 1 hour and 45 minutes.  Times will vary per oven.  Let sit a few minutes before serving.  i have also added some barbecue sauce to the sauce as well and have enjoyed it!

Cheers

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.  Lemon Meringue

2.  Charlotte's Web

3.  Porch swings

4.  Firestone Christmas records

5.  Gnomes

6.  Thin Mints

7.  Dreamgirls

8.  The smell of honeysuckle

9.  Jupiter by Gustav Holst

10.  Bloopers

Faith and reflection - Softly and Tenderly

Before i even entered the church today, outside of our sanctuary was a big banner that read "We Are Orlando".  Our bulletin for today's service had the pictures of all 49 victims of last week's shooting.  At the front of the sanctuary was a table draped in a rainbow colored cloth with 49 candles lit.  These acts of caring reaffirmed that College Park Baptist is the house of worship and the community that i belong in.  This is one of my all time favorite hymns and today it just fits.

Thought for the day

Well, it's been a week.  Not extremely exciting, but a week none the less.  i haven't felt too much like writing anything this week.  Inspiration has not been my friend.  Sometimes i find it difficult to get inspired with all that is going on in the world.  i do realize that i need to stop doing that and keep moving forward, but some days it's just so damn hard.  i have gotten to the point where i bypass any news website because i don't really feel like reading about today's crime of the hour.  It's just too much sometimes.

Anyway, i have worked pretty much all week since we got back from our trip and today is my day off.  It's hard to believe it has only been a week since we were in Tennessee.  We had such a great time and it was incredibly relaxing.  Made some new friends, which is always a plus!  And even though there is nothing like coming home, i am finding it easy to slip back into old routines.  This can be good and bad.  Right now, the worst part of it is the isolation.  At work i am surrounded by people and i love it.  Then, when i get home, for about 4 hours, i do not see or speak to anyone.  i think that it's different this time because last week we were around people all day.  There was no getting away from it.  So, i either need to figure out how to be alone for a few hours and feel good about it or get out and see people.  Or both...both is probably the best solution.  Oh well.

i have been struggling this week with being poor.  There is no shame in it, but it can be hard to get through.  When you work hard and then your entire check goes to pay bills that can really suck.  i feel, at times, like a bad person because i cannot do some of the things i want to do because of lack of funds.  And i'm not talking about taking myself on a shopping spree or anything like that.  i'm talking about things like filling up my gas tank and driving to see my Dad for Father's Day or giving my nieces birthday presents.  Right now, these are luxuries that i cannot afford.  And the bottom line is that i tend to be afraid that just being me is not enough for people.  i realize that this is all in my head but that is my perception.  Part of it stems from my genetics.....always wanting to do for other people....and when you don't have the resources it can be emotionally draining.

Anyway, i know that this will pass and i will not always be in this position....one year left of school and then i will start getting back on my feet.  Until then, i need to just learn how to be...simply, plainly...and how to like that.  It's definitely an achievable goal...it's just a matter of doing it.

Cheers

An old family photo

Grover Carroll

Jane Carroll

These are photos of Grover and Jane Carroll taken sometime between 1910 and 1920.  Jane was Grandmother's 2nd oldest sister and Grover was her husband.  Grover was the 3rd president/headmaster of the Wingate school.  Jane was a teacher and housewife.  Grover eventually was head of the Math Department at Wake Forest University.  They had one child, a daughter, Margaret.

Thought for the day

Some days it is hard to wrap my brain around why such horrible tragic things continue to occur in this country on a daily basis.  Yesterday's mass shooting in Orlando was devastating.  It is difficult to understand how fellow citizens can have such hatred for each other that leads them to things like this.  And yet, to me personally, one of the most devastating things about this ordeal is that it is no longer as devastating as it should be.  Shootings...mass or otherwise...have become a daily occurrence in America. i have gotten to the point where i avoid most news, be it online, television or print media, because it is just too depressing.  And nothing will change it.  One would think that after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary would have started changing our culture, but no sadly it did not.

You cannot talk to most people about gun control because no matter what you say, no matter what your argument is or how much it makes sense....most are not going to listen.  All they hear is you want to take away our guns.  It's in the Constitution....it's our right....it's Murica!! So, the facts are that pretty much anyone can purchase a gun without background checks and that leads to tragedies such as Orlando's.  Now, i'm NOT saying that guns are the only factor.  They are just one of many factors.  But, as long as there are politicians who can be bought by lobbyists, keeping weapons out of the hands of people who do not need to have them is a moot point.

There are other things that disgust me from this situation.  One is white privilege.  When these shootings happen, if the shooter is white, then his motives stem from some kind of mental illness or abuse.  If the shooter is a person of color, he is labeled a thug or a terrorist.  Even before it was released that yesterday's shooter pledged his loyalty to Isis, he was already labeled a terrorist.  He might not have been, but that doesn't matter.  Because of his skin color, that was what he was going to be no matter what.  That's the way our society thinks.  And there are people in this country who do not care about what happened yesterday because it occurred in a gay night club.  There are people who are secretly praising this man for ridding the world of more of us.  And the Biblical cherry pickers who see this as God's punishment.  But, once again, that's Murica!

Anyway, some times i just do not know how to handle these kinds of things.  i don't know what actions to take or if i should even take any.  Sometimes i just want to live in my little bubble because that is the easy thing to do.  i just don't know.  This too shall pass....until the next shooting.

Prayers and good energy being sent around the world

Thought for the day

Good morning, peeps :)

we are off today for our annual camping trip in Tennessee.  It is always nice to get away for a few days from the realities of life.  And it's good to see friends there that we only see once a year.  Of course, the hardest part of going is having to leave Squirt behind.  He'll be in good hands with Lois next door, but he just gives us this look when we leave that kills me.  He freaks out when he sees us packing stuff up.  Reminds me of how our dog growing up, Buttons, would run off when we packed up the car for a trip.  Squirt won't run off but still it's hard.

i told Michael last night that, while i am looking forward to our trip, i am looking forward to coming home.  It will mean some new beginnings for me and i am excited about that.  More will come on that at a later time, but i am ready for some change!  And to clean out my garage....whew!

So, the blog will be quiet for awhile as we have no reception really of any kind where we're going and that is ok with me.  i would much rather be socializing that burying my face in my phone or on my laptop LOL  Hope you all are having a good week!

Cheers!

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.  Green Glass

2.  Kiss At The End of the Rainbow

3.  Polka Dots

4.  Mrs. White

5.  Golden Girls

6.  Hello Kitty

7.  In the Garden

8.  Old Radio Shows

9.  Finishing a Crossword Puzzle

10.  Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins

Thought for the day

i really need to change some of my routines.  Not that routines are a bad thing, but in order to achieve certain goals, i need to switch things up.  There are some things that i do every day that i will continue to do in the order i have been doing.  For instance, every morning when i get up i feed white kitty.  She's always waiting at the front door for me for her breakfast.  Sometimes, she does venture into the house to sniff around.  Luckily, Squirt is still asleep then LOL  White kitty likes to go under the sofa in the living room.  i don't know why, but that's where she goes.  Anyway, feeding her breakfast will continue to be a part of my morning routine.  But, i can do some other things differently like eat breakfast and read the paper.  i do not eat breakfast like i should and it will be good for me to start doing so on a regular basis.  And since i have a subscription to the paper, i might as well sit down and at least look it over!

i started thinking about these things over the past few days because we are heading out of town this week for our annual camping trip.  And, when we come back, it will be time for me to implement some changes.  It will be a good starting point for me.  As i sat down this morning and read the church bulletin that came in the mail yesterday, i realized there is so much going on in that community that i do not take part in and i would like to.  i want to be a part of life....to participate instead of just watching from the sidelines.  Church is just one area where i can do that.  We shall see.

It is so easy for me to get stuck in routines...especially unhealthy ones.  i want to have some new hobbies that are not only better for me, but will expand my life experience.  i got off to a good start with getting together with people over the last month, but i have let that wane some and i can totally see myself giving up on that if i allow it.  Giving up on things is the easy way out.  Sticking with them is hard.  If i don't at least challenge myself, i will never know what i am capable of and how the quality of life can be enhanced simply by trying.

So, i am happy to take any suggestions LOL  Until then, i will make a list and start working on that!

Cheers

Showtune of the day - Come To My Garden

Today would have been Mom's 72nd birthday, so this is for her.

An old family photo - Mary Lee and B.Y. Tyner

Mary Lee and Bunyan Yates Tyner, circa 1912

i have been going through some old family photos that i found out in the garage.  i have so much fun looking at them.  i love the stories that they tell and don't tell.  There is an enormous amount of history in them.

Mary Lee Tyner was my Grandmother's oldest sister....23 years separated them.  Mary Lee and her husband, Bunyan, had their pictures taken more than anyone i know.  And not just family photos.  They were professionally photographed...a lot!  It's great though to see their age progression in the photos.  This set of pictures were taken around 1912.  Mary Lee's picture  has not held out as well and it looks in real time just as it does here.  Still, they're fun.

Cheers

Thought for the day - birthdays

i will be the first to admit that i am not good at keeping up with some people's birthdays.  i used to be great at it growing up, but these days not so much.  There are birthdays that are ingrained into my brain.  i know all of my immediate family's birthdays.  Mom's birthday is tomorrow, she would have been 72...wow.  June's birthday is Monday...i think.  i remember my cousin Monica's birthday because it is the same as mine...December 5th....so is Lucy Reich's, she was a minister's wife at First Baptist when i was growing up.  Janet and Danielle have the same birthday, November 5th....it's easy to remember because they're a month before mine exactly.

i do enjoy celebrating birthdays.  i enjoy hosting the party :)  This past February, we had a great group of people over for Michael's birthday.  i had a great time throwing the party, something i really love to do.  And i enjoy finding the perfect gift...something that at times i am really, really good at!  But, birthdays can also suck when you're poor.  My niece, Margaret, had a birthday last month and i still have not gotten anything in the mail to her.  It's not because i don't care, quite the opposite.  It's just that i am too embarrassed by the fact that i live paycheck to paycheck and cannot really afford to get her anything.  And, she's at that age where just getting a card is not fair, especially from her uncle.  Admittedly, we do not know each other that well and only see each other once or twice a year due to living in different states and as much as i would enjoy just simply writing her a birthday letter, it just does not feel right.  i have also thought of giving her some of her grandmother's jewelry, but i don't know if she even wears it or would appreciate it.  i'm sure she would appreciate it, but i don't know what her taste is like.  Oh, well.

One day i'll win the lottery and birthdays won't be a problem anymore :)  Until then, i need to find some creative ways to celebrate birthdays.  i think this is on the brain because Mom's birthday is tomorrow and part of me longs for one of the old fashioned family birthday parties that we had.  It was always such a great time to just get together and be a family and celebrate life.  With that philosophy, celebrating birthdays is something i should probably do every day.  They are important.  They must be remembered.  i must remember that!

Cheers

Thought for the day

This summer, one of my goals is to listen more to my body.  i don't really do that a lot.  i tend to ignore the pain or problem and just work through it.  But, the older i get, i realize that is not always the wisest way to handle things.  i do have some body and health goals set for myself and i know that i can achieve them.  i just have to keep reminding myself of the things that are important.  i am keeping those goals to myself for the moment because i do not want to set myself up for failure in the eyes of other people.  i will post updates from time to time once i feel more comfortable and feel that i am on my way to achieving those goals.

One of the main reasons, besides overall health, is the fact that being unhealthy can be pretty damn expensive. i have had problems with my teeth my entire adult life that stemmed from poor oral hygiene as a child.  i don't think that i have any cavities at the moment, but do have some gum issues.  i really could use a good visit to the dentist, but when you're on a very tight budget, that is not usually an option.  And dental insurance is one of the biggest scams that there is!  So, i will be resorted to looking online for natural ways to work on these.  and i'm sure once i am on my way with the health goals, things will improve.

Luckily, i do get insurance through the university.  That's a blessing!  When i left Pepper Moon Catering, the amount of money it would have cost to continue with the insurance i had there was ridiculous.  Through college, i can get a year's worth of coverage for what it would have cost me for only 2 months of that....and that's with the same insurance company!!  i just don't get it.  Well, i do get it.  Healthcare is one of the last vital thriving businesses in this country and so, of course it's expensive.  But that's a blog for another day!

Anyway, things will change for me this summer.  No matter where life's journey takes me...i plan on being a much healthier person while i take that journey.  That is all.

Cheers