Bleh. I have been in a funk all week. I'm not really sure why, but there you have it. I just feel completely unmotivated right now. I don't know if I'm scared of what the future holds or doesn't hold for me. I just don't know. I do know that I'm worried that something will happen before graduation that could totally screw things up. This is a normal feeling for people getting ready to graduate I think, but it totally sucks.
This will pass, I'm just ready for it to pass sooner than later. I have to find some things that will get me out of these feelings and I just do not know what they are yet. I know some things like getting projects done at the house. As strange as that may sound, I just exist better when the house is in order and I am so far behind on that. But it's hard sometimes doing things when I'm home alone. I get sucked into the computer or Netflix or what have you and then get nothing done. Then, I feel guilty for not having done anything. It's a vicious cycle.
I also have one class that is kicking my butt, in a good way though. Grant writing. The professor is tough because he knows what he's talking about. It's good because we'll be coming away with a valuable skill. It's also a lot of work and sometimes I just can't seem to get focused. I will get the work done, it's just a matter of making myself focus and doing it. When graduation is only a few weeks away, it can be hard to focus. But I know that I have to.
Oh well...onward and upward...eventually. Let's see if motivation and focus will be my friends today.
That is all
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Showtune of the day
Monday, March 27, 2017
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Quote of the day
There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Quote of the day
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.
John Lennon
John Lennon
Thought for the day
Well, here it is...almost the end of spring break. I'm sitting here having my morning coffee, surfing the net and looking out the window at the gray morning. It's overcast and rainy so far today. Luckily it's not that cold and the wind is at a minimum....so far. Actually, there are times when I really enjoy these kinds of days. I am determined that today is going to be one of them!
It's not like I have anything in particular planned for today, but today I am actually going to enjoy just seeing where the day takes me. It may take me somewhere. It may take me nowhere. Only time will tell. I am determined to just be in the moment today. That is all I ask of myself.
Hopefully I can get some things organized around the house. Sometimes it really is emotionally draining to see all of this crap just piled up all over the place. I might as well try to be productive. Of course, some of that depends on whenever Michael gets up because I don't like to make a lot of noise while he's still in bed. Of course, it doesn't usually stir him at all if I'm doing something, but I still don't want to take that chance.
Anyway, I'm just going to go with the flow today. Maybe do some letter writing, pay some bills, work in the garage. We shall see. I have no agenda today other than self care. Wish me luck!
It's not like I have anything in particular planned for today, but today I am actually going to enjoy just seeing where the day takes me. It may take me somewhere. It may take me nowhere. Only time will tell. I am determined to just be in the moment today. That is all I ask of myself.
Hopefully I can get some things organized around the house. Sometimes it really is emotionally draining to see all of this crap just piled up all over the place. I might as well try to be productive. Of course, some of that depends on whenever Michael gets up because I don't like to make a lot of noise while he's still in bed. Of course, it doesn't usually stir him at all if I'm doing something, but I still don't want to take that chance.
Anyway, I'm just going to go with the flow today. Maybe do some letter writing, pay some bills, work in the garage. We shall see. I have no agenda today other than self care. Wish me luck!
Friday, March 17, 2017
Thought for the day
I'm so ready for this week to be over with. If you read my earlier post, you'll know that spring break has been disappointing. But, such is life. I have come to the realization that I am just not good when I have nothing to do. And by nothing to do, I mean homework that's due tomorrow or classes to attend or my internship or work. I have things that I could do and should be doing, but my motivation is just not meeting this challenge. Yes, I know spring break is a time to relax and do nothing to many people. In that respect, I have succeeded. I just don't feel very successful.
I am not good when left to my own devices. I really have not left my house this week except to walk around the corner to the Bestway and that doesn't take very long. I sit here and get depressed because I don't really want to do anything. And if you've ever been depressed...not sad, but depressed, you know the toll it takes on a person both emotionally and physically. Oh well, this shall pass too. At least, I hope it will. At least the sun has finally started coming out again, even if it's still cold and windy. Squirt can sit for hours on the porch in the sun and enjoy himself. There's that, anyhow.
So, once again, I have to do some self reflecting on my life and what I do and how I do it. I have come to the conclusion that it is something I can change but not necessarily fix. Saying something needs fixing implies that it is broken. I know I'm not broken, even though at times I feel that way but I recognize it is just a feeling and will pass. No, what I'm talking about is looking to my role models and how they handled day to day life. My parents, my Grandmother and other family members set wonderful examples for me and I want to incorporate more of that into my daily existence. I don't want to be them because I'm me, but I do want their influence more.
I'm not really sure what any of this means, but it makes sense in my brain so there you have it. I woke up depressed this morning but I decided to give myself some time and space to clear my head before putting this jumble of feelings into words.
Now, time for laundry.
Cheers
I am not good when left to my own devices. I really have not left my house this week except to walk around the corner to the Bestway and that doesn't take very long. I sit here and get depressed because I don't really want to do anything. And if you've ever been depressed...not sad, but depressed, you know the toll it takes on a person both emotionally and physically. Oh well, this shall pass too. At least, I hope it will. At least the sun has finally started coming out again, even if it's still cold and windy. Squirt can sit for hours on the porch in the sun and enjoy himself. There's that, anyhow.
So, once again, I have to do some self reflecting on my life and what I do and how I do it. I have come to the conclusion that it is something I can change but not necessarily fix. Saying something needs fixing implies that it is broken. I know I'm not broken, even though at times I feel that way but I recognize it is just a feeling and will pass. No, what I'm talking about is looking to my role models and how they handled day to day life. My parents, my Grandmother and other family members set wonderful examples for me and I want to incorporate more of that into my daily existence. I don't want to be them because I'm me, but I do want their influence more.
I'm not really sure what any of this means, but it makes sense in my brain so there you have it. I woke up depressed this morning but I decided to give myself some time and space to clear my head before putting this jumble of feelings into words.
Now, time for laundry.
Cheers
Quote of the day
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Quote of the day
I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I'm too tired to be me.
Jarod Kintz
Jarod Kintz
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Recipe of the Day - Mississippi Pot Roast (Crock Pot)
Over Michael's birthday weekend, we visited with some of our friends Travis and Gina. They kept telling me about this pot roast recipe and that I just had to try it. Well, we'd had this roast in the freezer for awhile, so I decided to try the recipe out in the crock pot. I know that there are many variations of this recipe, but we both really liked this one, so I'm going to stick with it!
1 3-5 lb beef/chuck roast
1 stick of salted butter (not margarine or any other butter substitute)
1 packet of onion soup mix
1 packet of ranch dressing mix
8 pepperoncini peppers
olive oil
salt and pepper
Place beef roast in your crock pot. Cover in olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Put the ranch and the onion soup mix on top of the roast. Place the stick of butter on top of that. Place the 8 pepperoncini peppers around the roast. Cook on low for 8 hours.
No need to add any water or other liquid to this dish, it'll create its own gravy
We served this over rice, but mashed potatoes would work great too!
*you can always sear the roast before putting it in the crock pot. I chose not to and the roast still turned out quite tender!
**we used spicy pepperoncini peppers to give it an extra kick.
Enjoy!!
1 3-5 lb beef/chuck roast
1 stick of salted butter (not margarine or any other butter substitute)
1 packet of onion soup mix
1 packet of ranch dressing mix
8 pepperoncini peppers
olive oil
salt and pepper
Place beef roast in your crock pot. Cover in olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Put the ranch and the onion soup mix on top of the roast. Place the stick of butter on top of that. Place the 8 pepperoncini peppers around the roast. Cook on low for 8 hours.
No need to add any water or other liquid to this dish, it'll create its own gravy
We served this over rice, but mashed potatoes would work great too!
*you can always sear the roast before putting it in the crock pot. I chose not to and the roast still turned out quite tender!
**we used spicy pepperoncini peppers to give it an extra kick.
Enjoy!!
Thought for the day - spring break bust
It seems to me that somewhere God is laughing at me. This is potentially my last spring break ever and it's just been one thing after another. We decided not to take a trip this year over spring break because we're saving for something later on in conjunction with my graduation and our 10 year anniversary. That's fine, I'm good with that. My plan was to stay here and maybe take a few day trips here and there and get some things done around the house that I have been putting off. So far, I've laid on the couch and surfed the net and been depressed. Good times.
For the past month, it has felt like spring here in Greensboro. We've had constant temperatures in the 60's and 70's. All of sudden, because it's spring break, Mother Nature decides that it is time for colder temperatures again! Woohoo!! We had some snow and sleet earlier this week. None of it stuck around, but still that's not the point. Today, we haven't even gotten above freezing and the wind is just vicious. I finally was able to coax Squirt to go out and thought we'd both turn into ice cubes. But, of course other than the wind and the sub freezing temps, it's beautifully sunny today. GRRRRRRR
Monday, I decided to clean out kitchen cabinets and get rid of things we don't use or need. We've been having some mouse issues with the cold weather and it has gotten worse. It's obviously no longer one or two mice, but there's got to be a nest somewhere in the wall. You know me, I love animals, but this has gotten ridiculous. If they would find somewhere other than my kitchen to poop, it'd be no problem....I could coexist. But they just don't get it!!! Mostly they stick to the same cabinets, but now they've ventured out into some of the kitchen furniture. I opened up a drawer and about hurled. Needless to say, I put out the humane traps. They've worked a few times, but it's not enough, so reinforcements are coming in tomorrow. I hate to do it. Believe me, it really does crush my soul to a degree, but it's just not sanitary. And I'm tired of having to wash everything all of the time...over and over. Normally I love to wash dishes but jeez!!!! If only Michael weren't allergic to the cat and I could bring her in. She'd have a ball. Oh well.
And to top that all off, the stress of Monday's mice caused me to have a flare up and, to put it as delicately as possible, Preparation H has become my best friend. And Ibuprofen. It hurts to sit, stand and walk. If you've never experienced this kind of pain before, just imagine having a really hot egg made from shards of glass stuffed up your butt and you have to move in such a way as to not break that egg. Getting old really does suck sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I know...beats the alternative...blah, blah, blah.
Yes, somewhere God is laughing at me. Can't wait to see what the rest of spring break has in store.
That is all
For the past month, it has felt like spring here in Greensboro. We've had constant temperatures in the 60's and 70's. All of sudden, because it's spring break, Mother Nature decides that it is time for colder temperatures again! Woohoo!! We had some snow and sleet earlier this week. None of it stuck around, but still that's not the point. Today, we haven't even gotten above freezing and the wind is just vicious. I finally was able to coax Squirt to go out and thought we'd both turn into ice cubes. But, of course other than the wind and the sub freezing temps, it's beautifully sunny today. GRRRRRRR
Monday, I decided to clean out kitchen cabinets and get rid of things we don't use or need. We've been having some mouse issues with the cold weather and it has gotten worse. It's obviously no longer one or two mice, but there's got to be a nest somewhere in the wall. You know me, I love animals, but this has gotten ridiculous. If they would find somewhere other than my kitchen to poop, it'd be no problem....I could coexist. But they just don't get it!!! Mostly they stick to the same cabinets, but now they've ventured out into some of the kitchen furniture. I opened up a drawer and about hurled. Needless to say, I put out the humane traps. They've worked a few times, but it's not enough, so reinforcements are coming in tomorrow. I hate to do it. Believe me, it really does crush my soul to a degree, but it's just not sanitary. And I'm tired of having to wash everything all of the time...over and over. Normally I love to wash dishes but jeez!!!! If only Michael weren't allergic to the cat and I could bring her in. She'd have a ball. Oh well.
And to top that all off, the stress of Monday's mice caused me to have a flare up and, to put it as delicately as possible, Preparation H has become my best friend. And Ibuprofen. It hurts to sit, stand and walk. If you've never experienced this kind of pain before, just imagine having a really hot egg made from shards of glass stuffed up your butt and you have to move in such a way as to not break that egg. Getting old really does suck sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I know...beats the alternative...blah, blah, blah.
Yes, somewhere God is laughing at me. Can't wait to see what the rest of spring break has in store.
That is all
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Thought for the day - The Auction
Saturday, I went to an estate auction. It was at a house just around the corner from where we live. It was fun to be there for awhile but it was also bittersweet, for several reasons. I had not been to an auction in over 20 years. Mom and I used to go all the time when I was younger. We had a ball. And sometimes Grandmother and/or Bobbie Yandle would go with us. I remember the first auction I went to. It was an auction of the estate of my cousin, Isabel Wolfe. I just fell in love with the whole process that day. I even made the mistake of bidding against Mom, but oh well LOL Anyway, we went to many auctions over the years and found some wonderful treasures. And there is always the thrill of outbidding someone and winning. I had to be careful because I could get competitive for something I didn't really want just because I wanted to win. Luckily that didn't happen too often.
Anyway, what got me feeling bittersweet about the whole thing was watching someone's entire life being sold and dismantled in a matter of hours. I realize that this is a reality of life, but it still made me sad in some ways. Lots of stuff that was for sale were things that someone used every day. I imagine that the family had picked through what all they wanted and this was what was left over. I cannot blame them for that because I might do the same under those circumstances. But I sat there looking at all of these things like pots, pans, tools, records, cds, books and it made me sad that no one who knew these people wanted any of these things. It's like you live your life and when you're gone, the things that made your day to day existence possible no longer matter to anyone who knew you. Like I said, it is a reality when someone passes that must be faced.
But, that was just a fleeting moment during the auction. I still find them enjoyable and will find other ones to go to. I did not buy anything because I did not come across anything that I just fell in love with and had to have. And also I do not need anything really. Most of what was there was stuff that I already had...or at least something similar to it. It did get me to truly thinking about all of this stuff that I hold onto. Most of it, I have no reason as to why I'm keeping it. Really. And, if something happened to me anytime soon, I am not sure I would want Michael to have to deal with all of this excess crap....I mean stuff. So, I have decided to give lots of these things away. I am going to begin the process of going through every nook and cranny and letting go of the unnecessary. That does not mean I won't keep the things that I love and want, but everything else has got to go.
I have started a photo album on Facebook for all of this free stuff. I will give each item 2 weeks to be up for grabs, then it will be donated somewhere. So, in essence, once it is on Facebook, I have let go of it. My hope is that someone will find a treasure for themselves or someone else. We shall see.
That is all
Anyway, what got me feeling bittersweet about the whole thing was watching someone's entire life being sold and dismantled in a matter of hours. I realize that this is a reality of life, but it still made me sad in some ways. Lots of stuff that was for sale were things that someone used every day. I imagine that the family had picked through what all they wanted and this was what was left over. I cannot blame them for that because I might do the same under those circumstances. But I sat there looking at all of these things like pots, pans, tools, records, cds, books and it made me sad that no one who knew these people wanted any of these things. It's like you live your life and when you're gone, the things that made your day to day existence possible no longer matter to anyone who knew you. Like I said, it is a reality when someone passes that must be faced.
But, that was just a fleeting moment during the auction. I still find them enjoyable and will find other ones to go to. I did not buy anything because I did not come across anything that I just fell in love with and had to have. And also I do not need anything really. Most of what was there was stuff that I already had...or at least something similar to it. It did get me to truly thinking about all of this stuff that I hold onto. Most of it, I have no reason as to why I'm keeping it. Really. And, if something happened to me anytime soon, I am not sure I would want Michael to have to deal with all of this excess crap....I mean stuff. So, I have decided to give lots of these things away. I am going to begin the process of going through every nook and cranny and letting go of the unnecessary. That does not mean I won't keep the things that I love and want, but everything else has got to go.
I have started a photo album on Facebook for all of this free stuff. I will give each item 2 weeks to be up for grabs, then it will be donated somewhere. So, in essence, once it is on Facebook, I have let go of it. My hope is that someone will find a treasure for themselves or someone else. We shall see.
That is all
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