Thought for the day

I'm so ready for this week to be over with.  If you read my earlier post, you'll know that spring break has been disappointing.  But, such is life.  I have come to the realization that I am just not good when I have nothing to do.  And by nothing to do, I mean homework that's due tomorrow or classes to attend or my internship or work.  I have things that I could do and should be doing, but my motivation is just not meeting this challenge.  Yes, I know spring break is a time to relax and do nothing to many people.  In that respect, I have succeeded.  I just don't feel very successful.

I am not good when left to my own devices.  I really have not left my house this week except to walk around the corner to the Bestway and that doesn't take very long.  I sit here and get depressed because I don't really want to do anything.  And if you've ever been depressed...not sad, but depressed, you know the toll it takes on a person both emotionally and physically.  Oh well, this shall pass too.  At least, I hope it will.  At least the sun has finally started coming out again, even if it's still cold and windy.  Squirt can sit for hours on the porch in the sun and enjoy himself.  There's that, anyhow.

So, once again, I have to do some self reflecting on my life and what I do and how I do it.  I have come to the conclusion that it is something I can change but not necessarily fix.  Saying something needs fixing implies that it is broken.  I know I'm not broken, even though at times I feel that way but I recognize it is just a feeling and will pass.  No, what I'm talking about is looking to my role models and how they handled day to day life.  My parents, my Grandmother and other family members set wonderful examples for me and I want to incorporate more of that into my daily existence.  I don't want to be them because I'm me, but I do want their influence more.

I'm not really sure what any of this means, but it makes sense in my brain so there you have it.  I woke up depressed this morning but I decided to give myself some time and space to clear my head before putting this jumble of feelings into words.

Now, time for laundry.

Cheers