Some days, it is just hard to know what to think about things anymore. I hate the fact that I am becoming numb and desensitized to tragedy. Yes, what happened yesterday in Las Vegas was beyond horrible. I pray, for my own benefit, to make sense of it all and send as much good energy to those people as possible because it is all I know to do right at this moment. These kinds of occurrences have become commonplace in our country. While not on the scale as this past shooting, but still commonplace. And I am not reacting as I would have 5, 10, or 20 years ago. I would have been a lot more emotionally devastated at this tragedy.
Many of us have those defining moments of national tragedy. We know where we were, what we were doing, etc. And those tragedies were not all acts of terrorism, domestic or foreign. The Challenger blowing up after take off was my first one. The Columbine shootings, September 11th...they all have definite places in my history. But know, it is almost like I get up in the morning and turn on media and see someone's been shot, something horrible has happened in our country, and sadly, it's just another day. Lawmakers are no help because they are in it for themselves and profit. If the killing of 20 children two weeks before Christmas at Sandy Hook could not motivate compassion and common sense in our country, then we are a lost cause.
I don't want to live my life afraid of going places out of fear of tragedy. That is no way to live. I do not want to be a prisoner to myself, my society or my country. I just don't know how to fix it. Or even if I should try to fix it. Some days, I feel like getting out of bed is not even worth it. But, alas, life, as we know it now, goes on. Only time will tell.
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