Quote of the day

Continuing adventures of just a waiter - dealing with deaths

Working in a senior community, death is a reality of the job.  And it's never the same.  Sometimes a death is expected.  Sometimes it's a complete shock.  We had a resident that recently passed away.  She had not been with us very long, less than 2 months.  She fell and broke her hip on a Friday and left this world the next Monday.  Up to that point, she was a vibrant lady, full of personality, and a joy in our community.  Everyone loved her and her death sent shock waves through the residents and associates.  But it's just part of the job.

We have to, as associates, help people adjust to these changes.  One of our residents recently lost her husband of over 50 years.  The person she shared her life with every day was suddenly no longer there.  She's a trooper, but you can, of course, see it in her eyes sometimes how much she misses her husband.  All we can do is be there for her when she needs us.  We don't want to force ourselves on her, though.  She needs to grieve in her own way and take all the time in the world.  It's not easy, but we do what we can for her whenever she needs us.  Another resident recently lost her son and that came with both pain and relief for her, because he had been sick for a long time.  We help her through and assure her that we'll be there for her.  It's what we do.

I had someone some to the front desk yesterday to inquire about a specific resident.  She lived in our assisted living facility and was one of my favorite people.  We developed a great relationship when i worked there.  And I had to tell this person that she had passed away about 6 months ago.  That was tough.  They went to college together and hadn't seen each other in years.  She was on this side of town and wanted to drop by and check in.  Needless to say, she was stunned at the news and at the fact it had been six months and she didn't know.  That was hard to do, having to tell her this news.  But again, it is simply something we do in our jobs.

Death is a hard part of life and a hard part of the job.  If we didn't care, then it wouldn't be hard.  And, personally, I'd rather it be hard than not.  The day that death becomes easy for us, then we're not doing our jobs as we should.

That is all.

Quote of the day

If He Walked Into My Life - Marin Mazzie

I just love a good Jerry Herman score.  His ballads are wonderful and if I had any kind of voice, whatsoever, I would sing them all the time.  Alas, I do not.  I happened upon this version on YouTube, combining two of my favorite theatrical elements...Jerry Herman and Marin Mazzie.  Enjoy!

Quote of the day

Continuing adventures of just a waiter - team building

I don't often talk about deficiencies at work, but today I do have one I have been thinking about a lot.  And, it's not a bad thing at all, just something that I believe we need to do at work.  That is team building.  In a senior community it is important that we act as a team.  It's good for the associates and I think it makes the residents happy when they know that everyone who works there is on the same page.

There have been a few instances of team building in the last few months that I've seen.  The managers all got together for a day off campus, which I'm sure they needed.  They're a pretty tight group already, though, so I hope that they will take their team building experience and let it trickle down to other groups.  Several departments have done some things over the past few weeks and as far as I know, they were successful.  My department hasn't done one since I've been there, but I definitely feel it is a possibility...just a matter of scheduling.

The team atmosphere is vital to an organization such as ours.  And you can definitely tell a difference when everyone is on the same team.  When I worked exclusively in assisted living, we were a total team.  It was amazing.  Wellness, dining, care services, housekeeping, maintenance, management...we all had the same goal of ensuring a quality of life for our residents.  We had each others' backs.  If I needed help in the dining room, one of the RA's was there.  If wellness needed help setting up, I was there.  That kind of thing.  It was wonderful!

It's not nearly that way in the independent living but that's ok for now.  The departments can be divided from each other fairly easily.  We coexist just fine, but it doesn't always feel like a team and that is something I feel we need to work on.  There are moments, it's just not as consistent as some of the other buildings.  One of the reasons for that is that we have so many residents in that building, that each associate really must focus on their specific job.  And that's as it should be, but I think we can do better in our associate relationships.  I would love it if we could do some cross team building experiences so that people from different departments would be together.

All in all, this is not a complaint but simply an observation.  We have a good atmosphere, but I know that we can do more on a daily basis.

That is all.

A prayer for Veteran's Day

OBC recordings that should be wonderful, but in essence...suck

Nothing can kill the excitement of listening to a beautiful score of a musical quite as much as a bad recording of it.  It amazes me how, when you have brilliant material to work with, the outcome is awful.  Great theatre starts with what's on the page.  Great musicals start with what's in the score.  Why would you put effort into a recording that does not show off what the musical has to offer?  Since I don't produce musicals, I can't answer the question but I do think about it.  Here are a few of my pics for recordings that I think, for one reason or another, suck.

Fiddler On The Roof - Original Broadway Cast
What a ground breaking show this was.  A wonderful, poignant and joyous score.  So many great songs in this show.  And while I think it's great that Zero Mostel's performance was captured on recording, it's as if no one else in the show can sing.  And if they can't sing, they don't have the charisma that Mostel has to pull it off.  Maybe it was just a bad day in the recording studio!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8J5hNqELzI&list=PLQ_DwnwLPFEEjO5QyHihbVsNiH8GMc-ax&index=3&t=0s

She Loves Me
Even despite the amazing Barbara Cook in the cast, this recording falls flat.  For a show as charming as She Loves Me, something is missing that gives you the feel of this show.  For a jewel box of a musical, this recording is mechanical and unromantic...two things this show isn't!

Cabaret 1998 Revival
If you like sleeze and breathy vocals, than this is the album for you.  Kander & Ebb's deceivingly clever score is undermined by the theme of "look at how sexual and perverse we are".  Of course, if you enjoy seeing Alan Cumming being weird for the sake of being weird (which is a lot of the time), then you'll just love this!

A Little Night Music Revival
This is one of my favorite scores of all time.  It's lush and romantic, so how could they mess it up?  This recording is, in best terms, charm free.  Even Angela Lansbury, whom I adore, could not save it.

The Facebook diary dilemma

One of the things that I have found very freeing by taking back control from Facebook, is not having to document every little step I make in life.  I now am back to doing things without the worry of "OMG, I have to stop right now and post this on FB!!"  That gets to be exhausting.  And I really do not need the world to know everything about my life every single second of the day.  It is such a relief to have let go of that.

Now, I understand that many people...millions, actually.....enjoy doing this.  That is TOTALLY fine.  It works for them, just not for me anymore.  In many ways, I have always been a very private person.  The persona I put out there is not always who I really am in that moment or what I am feeling.  And while there are times that I need to be like that, documenting my life on FB just enhances that and I end up trying to live up to this expectation I make of myself based on an internet profile.  Not a healthy direction for me.

I do post on FB again, but not in the amount I used to.  I don't have to show you what I make for dinner every night anymore.  Some nights, yes, but not every one!  You don't need to know that I'm at Walgreens.  You don't need to know that I'm juggling my bills this month (which I'm not, by the way).  If I wanted to tell you this, I'll get in touch personally LOL 

As a result, I no longer have to carry my phone with me all of the time.  I actually set it down in another room when I get home.  I don't even use FB on my phone anymore, so if you see me on there that means I'm sitting down at an actual computer, which should explain the delays in responding to messages.  It's nice not to feel the pressure of listing every little thing in my life for the whole world to judge.  I can pick and choose what I share.  Yes, I have always had the power to do this, it's just taken me awhile to figure it out.  Kind of like Dorothy and the ruby slippers!

If I wanted a diary, I'd go out and buy one!

That is all :)

As I am now less than one month from the big ol' 45, I've been thinking a lot about birthdays lately.  Birthdays are important.  Old memories are reminisced and new memories are made.  I was going through some old photos the other day and came across many fun birthday pictures from my childhood.

We didn't really have birthday parties, per say, growing up.  I think I had two parties - one party, a roller skating party, I had with Darcy, whose birthday is in January, and the other one, a pizza party,  I had with the neighborhood kids.  Those were both great, but the ones that mean the most are the family parties we had.  And by party, that meant a birthday dinner, cake and presents.  Mom always cooked the favorite foods of whose birthday it was.  Mine was always....and I mean always....hamburgers.  They're actually still my favorite.  Bill usually chose lasagna, which was one of Mom's specialties.  Grandmother would make the cake and there was usually ice cream to accompany it.

And the gifts.  We never got a lot of presents for our birthday, but we got enough and they were always good gifts.  That was good for me, being a December baby!  And when we were very young, I would get a gift on Bill's birthday and he'd get one on mine.  That was a pretty fair thing to do, and it kept the peace between the kids!

As with so many things in life, I didn't realize how important those times were in that specific moment.  I look back on them now and they truly were great.  And not just the kids' birthdays, but everyone's.  We always celebrated.  Since Mom's and Grandmother's birthdays were in the summer, we would often have larger groups for a cookout...some of the extended family and some cherished friends.  It's simply the treasure of being together that makes it so special.

I want to do that more often now.  Hosting birthday dinners would be incredibly fun for me.  And, like my memories, I don't mean anything huge.  Just a circle friends together to celebrate.  The older I get, the more that appeals to me.  I use to want a large birthday party, but now I'd rather have a few friends together to celebrate.  As an adult, those are the moments that I remember.  For several years Michael and I have gone to Fishbones with Bethann for my birthday...and some how always run into Jim Wren and his wife there....every time LOL 

I just like the idea of the smaller birthday celebrations for myself and for others.  Those are some of my greatest memories and now it is time to make more.  I just have to find out when everyone's birthday is!!

Continuing adventures of just a waiter - patience

By definition, patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset or angry.

Patience is something you must have when working with the elderly.  During one's golden years, everything seems to slow down and move at a more moderate pace....the body, the mind, the whole package.  You cannot rush these people and that's ok.  They have lived this long and they deserve to be able to take their time.  Now, I say they don't move fast but there are some times that's not true...when the dining room doors open, it's like watching the horses at the Kentucky Derby come out of the gate!

Patience can take a lot out of a person, though, and you have to try really hard sometimes.  That's just how it goes.  Sometimes communicating can be difficult, but you have to do your best and take your time.  We have several residents that communicate differently and it can be very challenging understanding them or getting them to understand.  One of our residents has aphasia, the loss of ability to understand or express speech brought on by brain damage.  The fact is, she can understand and express herself, you just have to be patient.  You can't interrupt her or try to finish her sentences for her and you must speak slower than normal.  Aphasia can cause her emotions to flip like a light switch and she gets frustrated.  It's hard not letting that affect you, but you have to try your hardest to do that for her.

Another resident is deaf and has recently suffered several strokes.  Before her strokes, she could communicate very well and understand.  Now, not as much and, like a child, it can be difficult to get her to understand why she can't do things like she used to.  And then there are the residents with the beginning stages of dementia that we interact with on a daily basis.  Sometimes they go round in circles, working themselves into a frenzy of frustration.  They know what they want to say, they just cannot get the words out of their mouths.  You have to try your best to guide their thoughts and words.  It can be very straining, but it is so worth it when they are finally able to get out what they want to.

And then there is simply the daily interactions with the residents.  As they are elderly, they take more time with everything.  They've earned that right and they've earned our treating them with respect for that.  If you just take the time to listen to them, make them know that they have been heard, it makes a world of difference.  The reason it is so important to be patient is that it gives them dignity.  They are an important part of our world and they work very hard to be dignified in their old age.  We must do whatever we can to ensure they feel that way.  Patience is key.  And our patience not only gives them the dignity that they deserve, it gives us dignity in return.

That is all

Prayer for Thursday

Quote of the day

Wee Small Hours of the Morning - Carly Simon

I love this song!  Carly Simon's version is my favorite.  It is from the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack, which is an awesome soundtrack.  I actually had the soundtrack way before I ever saw the film, which has ended up being one of my guilty pleasure movies :)  I was introduced to this soundtrack by Mary Floyd, when she put Nat King Cole's Stardust on a mixed tape for me back in the day.  I often have this song playing in my head when I'm out on the porch with my coffee and black kitty very early in the morning, when all is still.  Enjoy!

Singing in the Rain - Good Morning

What a wonderful musical this is.  I watched a Larry King interview with Debbie Reynolds this weekend and it as fascinating.  Her impression of Meryl Streep was hysterical!  Anyhow, I decided to start off my day and week with this great number from the film.  Enjoy!

Thought for the day

Last month, I started working on a few goals towards a healthier lifestyle.  Some are small goals, some are larger ones.  I made the goals specific but not unobtainable.  I know myself and if I set the bar too high, I will come crashing down if I don't achieve it.  Now I did set some lofty goals for myself and I will continue to work on them this month.  I was successful in achieving one of my goals for October and I'm very proud of that.  My other goals still need work.  But I'm of the mindset that even though I did not get exactly where I wanted to be with them, I did make some progress and I'm very happy with that.

This month, I will continue on the goal that I achieved in October.  I will make a few more specifications in regards to my other goals simply so that I can help myself get to where I want to be.  I know I can do it.  And the people that I love know that I can do it.  Now, I just have to put down the coffee cup and pick up the water bottle! 

That is all :)

Recipe of the day - Spinach with white beans

This is a very easy recipe that I discovered in a Taste of Home cookbook.  It's a quick side dish to make on a weeknight after a long day of work.  Both Michael and I enjoy and I've share this with friends who also like it!

1 bag of spinach
1 can of white beans of your choice
1 clove of garlic, minced
olive oil

Drain and rinse the can of beans.  Saute garlic in olive oil over medium heat.  Once the garlic gets very fragrant, add the beans.  Cook until the beans are heated through.  Add the bag of spinach.  Saute spinach until it begins to turn a vibrant green.  Serve hot.

*You can use whatever white bean of your choice.  We like both northern beans and cannellini beans.  Northern beans tend to soften quickly and will be a bit mushier than cannellini, but both still taste great!

*Cook the spinach to your desired state of doneness.  For this dish, I don't let mine wilt too much, but that's just my personal taste.

Enjoy!

Some times I run across a quote that just fits!

Ads on Facebook

One thing I find really creepy about Facebook, and now most any website you go to, is ads following you, like those portraits where the eyes follow you no matter where you go in the room.  I go to ebay a lot to look up things for fun.  I'm so wild, I know.  But the next thing you know, I'll get on FB and there it is....what I looked at, whether or not I was interested in buying it.  It is now staring me in the facebook.  It's just eerie.  I don't particularly like having my websites cross breeding.  That was on Ebay, and now I've moved onto something else.  Leave it where it was, for goodness sake.  If I'm that interested, I'll keep it in mind or I'll put it on a watchlist or something.  I don't need to be reminded somewhere else of the vintage butter spreader I just happened to click on.  I'm a big boy, I can be responsible for that myself.

It's just the fact that everything is way too interconnected for my tastes.  I don't enjoy having a non breathing entity following my every move, not that I particularly enjoy a breathing entity doing that either.  And heaven forbid I'm on my phone and autocorrect occurs.  I could be searching for party linens and autocorrect kicks in before I have a chance to fix it.  The next thing you know I'm looking at ads for panty liners for the next week on FB.  Drives me nuts!

That is all :)

Escapades in adulting - the car battery

As far as owning a car goes, there's almost nothing more frustrating than a dead battery or when the battery is dying and you have no idea what is going on with your vehicle.  I got in the car for work the other day and when I went to start it, I was having trouble getting it to go.  I finally got it started, but in the back of my mind horrible scenarios were running.  I could just see what little I had in savings being thrown out for some kind of major car work. 

I drove to work in an anxiety riddled state, praying that my car would make it there.  I once had a car that died on me during morning rush hour traffic.  I was in a left turn lane at a very busy intersection and it just went kaput.  I was so upset and embarrassed as I sat there not being able to move that I couldn't even turn on my flashers....in my state of nervousness I couldn't find them.  Eventually I did, but not before sinking down in the driver's seat as angry people pulled around me.  I did not want a repeat of that moment in my life.

I got to work without incident and pulled into the parking lot with that suspicious feeling that once I park and shut the car off, it was not going to start back up.  Ah, well.  Luckily, work that day went smoothly except for this dread about my car lingering in my thoughts.  I even went out to it during my lunch break.  I didn't try to start it, I simply stood beside it asking God, more like pleading, to let it start when my shift was over.  I did, though, open the door and the interior lights came on.  I took this as a good sign...my mistake LOL

When I went to my car after work, saying my little prayers, lo and behold....nothing.  The radio came on, the lights came on, the windows would roll down.  The rest of the car, not so much.  Thank goodness my coworker Tony had one of those handheld batteries (potential Christmas present here, folks) and brought it over and jumped me off. 

I drove away from work completely white knuckled.  Now I was REALLY praying that my car would make it somewhere.  Turned off the radio, kept the windows rolled up (in 90+ degree weather) and just drove, taking the shortest, quickest route to my destination.  Sweating bullets, needless to say.  My grip on the wheel tightened with each passing minute.  My mechanic is around the corner from my house, so if I could just make it there, even though he'd be closed, at least I would have some peace and mind and I could deal with it the next morning. 

I made it there, left the car and walked home.  I was just relieved that the car was parked.  I had the realization that I had not had a new battery in the 9 years I have owned the car, so that's probably what it was and it was time to replace, but I still had the nagging feeling that it might be something way more expensive.  But, it ended up being the battery and the next day all was right with the world.

I need to pay more attention when my car is telling me that it doesn't feel right.

That is all :)