Communion

19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 

20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

I don't take communion every time it is offered in church and there are several reasons for this.  One is that since I have never been baptized, I was always told growing up that I was not allowed to take it.  It was only for "members" of the church, being those people who had been dunked in front of their fellow church goers.  My lack of baptism as a child/teenager came down to 2 factors:  1. I'm afraid of going under water. 2. By the time I truly understood what baptism meant, I did not care for our pastor and did not want him to be the one to baptize me.  But, that's for another post.  Anyway, growing up I didn't take communion because of that.

The other reason I don't always participate is that, and this is my own personal feeling, I have to be in the right place within myself to sit at the table of the Lord.  I know this is not how He feels, but it's how I feel.  Sometimes, I simply do not feel worthy of the privilege.  I know that He welcomes all to His table so it just depends on how I am feeling about myself and my spirituality that day.  That is why I choose to sit in the balcony at church on those days when communion is served and I am just not in that place.  My church sometimes will have the entire congregation stand around the sanctuary and people come by with the bread and wine for you.  There's no way not to participate when it's like that, so I hide myself away.  I hate that, but it is what it is.

I enjoy the communion service, itself.  I always have.  Growing up, it was a beautiful service with the full regalia and silver trays, etc.  It took up the entire hour.  I enjoyed the pageantry of it.  The service I attend now is more down to earth, but still a nice time of reflection on why we are there.

Now, I just need to get there more often and see if I'm feeling up to it.  And, maybe get myself baptized at some point along the way.

That is all