Social anxiety is a difficult thing to deal with, especially coming out of a pandemic. I have had social anxiety for my entire adult life. It began when I was a teenager, probably even younger than that. Once I began figuring out that I was different from the other kids. Actually, I always knew I was different. It's when I began caring that I was different that my outlook changed. The fear of being accepted or not made it difficult for me in social situations. And those feelings continue to this day.
I've been trying to put myself back out there in social settings to ease may way back and it has not worked like I have wanted it to. I usually end up feeling inadequate and awkward. In my head, I think I'm relaxed and having fun, but that's not what is showing on the outside. And when that gets pointed out to me, I realize that nothing has improved and I'm back to square one. So I ask myself is there a point in putting myself in these situations if things are not getting any better? I do not have an answer for that.
I have thought about trying to just make one friend at a time. Maybe to search out that person outside of my relationship that I can have a best friend relationship with. I just don't know how to begin finding said person. Social media does not help that much and I don't have many things that I do outside of work that may bring an encounter with new people.
I know that I will eventually work through this. Possibly with the help of a therapist. But in the meantime, it's frustrating. First world problems, I know. It'll be ok.
That is all
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