i've been sick all week and it's driving me crazy. i finally take time off of work to get things done before things get stupidly busy next month and I wake up Monday morning, sick and congested and I'm still congested today. It's very frustrating. i did manage to get a few things done around the house, but nothing near compared to what i wanted to do. i guess it just wasn't meant to be.
And here i sit, alone on Easter. Michael has to work today and i just feel like crap and don't want to get out and get anyone else sick, if i'm contagious. i truly don't think i am, but still i don't have much energy. i did manage to make us lunch and change the sheets on the bed. That was big fun. Oh well.
i'm just trying not to stress myself out over being sick. Sometimes i've thought to myself this week, what if these sounds i'm hearing from my chest isn't congestion? What if the damage i've done over the years is irreversable? i just don't know. it's hard not to think about it, but i really don't want to cause it scares the crap out of me. But, i'll try not to think about it. It just sucks that i'm here by myself today because i really don't wanna keep freaking myself out. Oh well. lol
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
structure
in an attempt to quit smoking, I've realized that my life is going to have to be alot more structured for awhile. I really can't afford to have and idle time on my hands. When I do, I'm really going to want to have a smoke because that's what i've done in the past. I think I can handle this, I just have to figure out exactly how I'm going to go about it.
I'm a list person and I think that is definitely going to help me with this. I need to put myself on a schedule and fill up my time all day every day. At least for awhile. It's a catch 22 though. If I get everything on the list done, I have a great sense of accomplishment. If I don't get it done, I feel defeated. Oh well. I'm just going to have to deal with it. woohoo!
Short but sweet right now. Any other suggestions will be most helpful. Wish me luck!
I'm a list person and I think that is definitely going to help me with this. I need to put myself on a schedule and fill up my time all day every day. At least for awhile. It's a catch 22 though. If I get everything on the list done, I have a great sense of accomplishment. If I don't get it done, I feel defeated. Oh well. I'm just going to have to deal with it. woohoo!
Short but sweet right now. Any other suggestions will be most helpful. Wish me luck!
Monday, March 25, 2013
social failures/successes
i posted something the other day on Facebook about how it was hard for me to be happy for friends' social successes because it makes me focus on my social failures. i realize this confused alot of people as i was being fairly vague, which i'm very good at on Facebook haha
When i talk about my social failures, i'm basically meaning that i rarely interact with anyone outside of work or the internet. The internet has become a crutch for me as far as talking to people and such and it's definitely something i need to work on. i get very anxious in social situations these days and i use to not be like that. And the thing is, i really enjoy having people over and doing things, going out and such. Or at least i use to. It's just different for me these days as i'm very much out of practice with it. i can get out there and hang with the best of them, but it takes alot of effort for me to keep it together when i do see people.
There are lots of reasons for this, which i don't really need to get into right now. But i'm working on those reasons and things will improve. It just takes time. That's all. More to come on this later :)
When i talk about my social failures, i'm basically meaning that i rarely interact with anyone outside of work or the internet. The internet has become a crutch for me as far as talking to people and such and it's definitely something i need to work on. i get very anxious in social situations these days and i use to not be like that. And the thing is, i really enjoy having people over and doing things, going out and such. Or at least i use to. It's just different for me these days as i'm very much out of practice with it. i can get out there and hang with the best of them, but it takes alot of effort for me to keep it together when i do see people.
There are lots of reasons for this, which i don't really need to get into right now. But i'm working on those reasons and things will improve. It just takes time. That's all. More to come on this later :)
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Good mail
Today, when i went through my stack of mail it was mostly bills. And that was on the depressing side. The bills themselves didn't depress me. Those are just part of life and have to be dealt with. It depressed me because that's really all that ever comes in the mail anymore. Now wait, I did get my jury summons, so that's gonna be a fun filled day next month. Whatever will I spend my $12 compensation check on? Oh the dreams!
Anyway, it got me to thinking about how much fun it was getting a card or a letter in the mail when I was growing up. It always made me feel so grown up to have something in the mailbox just for me. These days, and I'm so guilty of this, we all rely on the internet to do this for us. I'll get a birthday card from my families, but once upon a time birthday mail was a huge deal! Possibly because there might be cash or a check inside, which is rich to a kid! But, looking back on it, it was just nice that people remembered.
I use to love writing letters. Even though my handwriting is almost completely unreadable and I end up printing everything (even then...not so good), I felt better once I'd sat down with pen and paper and communicated with someone. During the summers between college years, my bfa class would write to each other. And when I was in college, not a week went by that I didn't get a letter or care package from my mom and my grandmother. And I still have every one of those letters. Maybe it's being a packrat, but I prefer the term sentimental.
There's just something to the art of writing letters and putting packages together that's lost on most people today. I miss that and need to get back into it.
Maybe one day I'll get something in the mail that doesn't have "payment due by" on it LOL Even though I do pay 80% of my bills by check through snail mail, it isn't quite the same as putting something in the mail just for fun!
And, here's my many soapbox and that'll be it. I feel like when I send a card or a letter or a bill off in the mail, I'm helping to keep people employed. Someone has to deliver it, someone has to process the check, someone has to make the card and the envelope, etc. I realize it's not eco friendly, but in this economy right now it's much easier to plant a new tree than to create a new job. :)
Anyway, it got me to thinking about how much fun it was getting a card or a letter in the mail when I was growing up. It always made me feel so grown up to have something in the mailbox just for me. These days, and I'm so guilty of this, we all rely on the internet to do this for us. I'll get a birthday card from my families, but once upon a time birthday mail was a huge deal! Possibly because there might be cash or a check inside, which is rich to a kid! But, looking back on it, it was just nice that people remembered.
I use to love writing letters. Even though my handwriting is almost completely unreadable and I end up printing everything (even then...not so good), I felt better once I'd sat down with pen and paper and communicated with someone. During the summers between college years, my bfa class would write to each other. And when I was in college, not a week went by that I didn't get a letter or care package from my mom and my grandmother. And I still have every one of those letters. Maybe it's being a packrat, but I prefer the term sentimental.
There's just something to the art of writing letters and putting packages together that's lost on most people today. I miss that and need to get back into it.
Maybe one day I'll get something in the mail that doesn't have "payment due by" on it LOL Even though I do pay 80% of my bills by check through snail mail, it isn't quite the same as putting something in the mail just for fun!
And, here's my many soapbox and that'll be it. I feel like when I send a card or a letter or a bill off in the mail, I'm helping to keep people employed. Someone has to deliver it, someone has to process the check, someone has to make the card and the envelope, etc. I realize it's not eco friendly, but in this economy right now it's much easier to plant a new tree than to create a new job. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
