thought for the day

i feel like i'm at war with my house. 

Ever since i was let go from my job, i've spent way too much time at home.  i have had a list of projects to work on, but have not really succeeded at getting any of them done.  Most days, all i do is go from room to room and look around, staring at what needs to be done.  Making a mental list, but doing nothing to cross those items off of the list.  And the longer the list gets, the less effort i have to get any of it done and then i spiral into a feeling of worthlessness, which leads to depression, etc.  It's a vicious cycle, to be sure.

This past weekend we went to see Michael's family.  It's always a good time.  i get envious of his parents house, though.  Everything has it's place.  It's well put together.  You know exactly where everything is suppose to go.  i always think, while i'm there, that the house is so comfortable, so unlike the chaotic mess that is our house.  i think of things to do to our house and ideas for it while i'm there, but once i get home....nothing. 

It's almost like the house is sucking the energy out of me.  i know what needs to be done, but i cannot seem to get myself to do it.  But, i know, if we wish to remain here, i cannot let these feelings defeat me.  i have to work through them and get on the ball about things.  i do better when things are neat and orderly, i just have a difficult time maintaining that.  i just have to figure out a better plan of action.

Any ideas would be helpful.

Cheers