Friday, May 20, 2016

Thought for the day - when friendships change

There's a restaurant around the corner from where we live called Fishbones. i walk by it all the time on my way to the neighborhood grocery store.  It's a great place to eat and i really do enjoy their food and atmosphere.  i walked by it the other day and it got me to thinking of all of the people that i have eaten with there.  Bethann, Jennifer, Sean, Michael, Adam, Shelby....to name a few.

For some reason, i focused on eating there with Jennifer.  When we ate there, it was the first night that she and Michael met.  Jennifer was my best friend from college.  We met and we clicked immediately.  We even were roommates her last year of graduate school.  As life goes on, our times together have become less frequent.  And being able to get together that night with her was magical because it had been years since we had seen each other.

Anyway, having my best friend from college meet my husband was a big deal.  Everything went smoothly.  We had  a blast.  Even when Dusty "She doesn't drink red wine" showed up.  i knew that was going to happen, but we sat through it patiently!  It was a great meal and Jen was spending the night so that meant we'd be drinking and talking til all hours.  We got plenty of alcohol to go and headed back to the house.  Luckily, Squirt took an instant liking to her.....otherwise there could've been an issue LOL

That was the first of several nights that we got to hang out over the last few years.  Each time was wonderful...like no time had passed at all...only much time had.  Things evolved and she began a new relationship.  That was great... but, selfishly, the phone calls and texts came less and less.  And that bothered me because we had just really reconnected and now she was going away again.  Long story short, she got married this year.  i was not there for the wedding.  At one point, i was suppose to be but that all went down the tubes and i am not exactly sure why.

She invited us to visit over Labor Day this past fall.  That trip, even though it was great to revisit Wilmington, was a disaster.  Jen had so many social obligations that weekend that she had no business inviting us when she could not spend time with us.  We were there 3 days and 2 nights and i think that i saw her 4, maybe 5 hours the entire time.  If you have that many things to do you have no place inviting your best friend to come visit....it's simple etiquette.

After barely seeing her and Sam Saturday, they did cook us breakfast Sunday and promised a fabulous dinner at 6 that evening.  They had to go to a party of a friend who was leaving town during the afternoon...understandable.  6 came and went, so did 7, so did 8.  i'd bought a bottle of wine for the evening it was gone by 8 totally.  They showed up after 9 to cook us dinner....apologizing profusely again...a weekend motif.  But, by the time they got home, Jen was so drunk that she passed out in her bathroom after barely half an hour with us.  i was so angry i went to bed without dinner.  Sam and Michael stayed up for the special dinner we'd been promised....and apparently it was salty.

Needless to say, we left the next day as scheduled.  i tried to leave quietly, without seeing them, but they woke up and caught us as we were packing the truck.  That was September.  The wedding was in November and i never heard one word between our visit and the wedding.  i suppose that if my presence had been important, truly, i would have heard something. Hell, they even came to Burlington...about 20 minutes away from me....to see a show in October and never called to say they were close by.  So, no wedding for me.

What i don't really understand is why?  Honestly, i think it's either one of 2 things.  Either 1, her new husband does not like me and wants to limit her communications with me.  Or 2, she's so afraid that i will tell her exactly what i think of her behavior that her need to be married is worth my silence.  i really don't know.  i hope that it isn't either of those things and that one day we'll pick up where we left off.  i just don't know.  Only time will tell.

Cheers


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