I remember standing outside of the sanctuary in the hallway before the service. I remember thinking that if I just walked out that side door that none of this would be true. That I would wake up and this nightmare would be over. I didn't do it, but I seriously considered it.
I remember walking into the sanctuary. The order felt strange to me. Dad, Bill, Heidi, Me then Grandmother. This was her daughter. Why wasn't she first? I don't know.
I remember entering the sanctuary. I had never seen it so full. I'd been a member since birth and in 21 years I had never seen it packed like that. I felt like everyone I knew was there. I remember looking up into the balcony and seeing my friends from UNCG: Nee, Liz, Courtney, Marcia and Stephanie. That meant so much.
I remember talking back to Grandmother. She told me not to cry but to stay strong. I appreciated her concern because that is how her generation dealt with things. But, thanks to Be Boyd and my theater classmates, I knew that I had to let go or it would have been the end of me. I told Grandmother to let me do this. And to her acclaim, she did.
I remember the congregation singing "In The Garden". Heidi, my sister in law, took my hand during that hymn while I was weeping and she held it very tight. That moment meant more to me than she may every know.
I remember the choir sang. Mom was a member of that choir since she was a teenager. They sang "My Eternal King". After the service was over, Ellen, Heidi's mother, said that it was like the choir was singing to raise the roof off of the church. And they were. For Mary B.
I remember having to walk up that aisle after the service. The casket had the most incredible spray of roses on it. I was weeping. Not just crying, but weeping. I don't know how I made it down that aisle and out of the church.
There are lots more memories I have of that week that are very precious to me. These are just a few and I cherish them. That is all.
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