If you are going to work with older populations, it is my belief that one of the key elements to a successful working relationship with senior citizens is listening. Plain and simple listening. From the time we are born we want to be heard. We want to be listened to. That is human nature. Our society, though, tends to stop listening to people once they've reached a certain age. It is almost as if what they have to say, what they want, what they need is no longer of any importance. And if you are going to work with this age group, the ability to listen is absolutely imperative.
In every senior living community, you will find the same types of people. I hesitate to use the word stereotype simply because that has such negative connotations in our society, but basically that's what I mean. There's the complainer who almost never has anything positive to say and will go out of his/her way to find something to complain about. There's the quiet one who hardly ever speaks but will talk your ears off if you instigate the conversation. There's the person with memory issues who will come to you with the same issues over and over again, sometimes only after a few minutes have lapsed. There's the gossip who doesn't realize the things they say about other people could be applied to them as well. And the one thing these people all have in common is that they just want someone to listen to them. That's it.
There is an art to listening. It is not only being quiet like some people think. You have to pay attention. When a resident comes to me to tell me the same thing for the one hundredth time, I need to listen to them as if I have never heard what they are telling me. Pay attention to the details of what is being said and give them confirmation that it is understood. It's not hard to do but it's not as easy as some may think. And when residents have complaints, one really, truly needs to listen because more often than not their claim is legitimate. Give the residents some acknowledgement that you have heard what is being said. You don't have to give them a solution because some times that is not your area of expertise, but you can listen. It makes people feel better to get something off of their chest and that applies to all ages. If a resident is simply brushed off or condescended to, that will not end well.
And simply because a person is older does not mean that cannot tell when someone is on autopilot. They know if you're not actually paying attention to them or not. Really hearing them is key. I have seen too many times someone already formulating an answer or an excuse in their minds before a resident has finished stating his/her case. That's just going to aggravate the situation. Especially if that type of response becomes commonplace with whoever they are talking to.
So, when a resident approaches you, give them your full attention. Make eye contact with them while they are speaking. Do something to acknowledge that you are listening, whether it is nodding in agreement or repeating back to them what's been said. Remember, you may be the only person they talk to that day and the few moments that you allow them could be the difference between a good day for them and a bad one. That's just one way we make a difference.
That is all.
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