I am sitting here this morning looking at the goldfish in my fish tank and wondering what they are thinking. Since living in this tank is the only life they have known for almost 10 years now, are they content? Do they ever wonder what it may be like to live in a large body of water? Do they even know what that is or do they think the entire world is in this small tank? Sometimes I do feel guilty that they do not know what it's like to be free...whatever that means these days. But then I also remember that they are protected now and well cared for. Would they have lasted this long in the wild? Maybe. Maybe not. Do they ever get lonely even though the two fish have each other for company? There's really no way of knowing the answer to these questions because, obviously, fish cannot talk. Unless this were an animated movie, then they could answer without issue. That would be something!
It has often made me wonder if the protection and comfort of my house and the life I lead is enough for me. Even though, in my head, I want more, am I willing to risk living outside of my tank and risking failure? Like my fish, I cannot answer the question. Even though I can talk, I still cannot answer the question. Security is important. As I look to the future, especially after graduation, I have to wonder if anything will change. Will I seek out change or will I stay tucked away here in my house? There's no telling right now. The world is a dangerous and scary place right now and if I find that keeping my sanity right now means continuing in the life I currently have then so be it.
There's no clear-cut answer to this question for me. At least not today. So, as I sit here watching my fish swim around the tank, I feel connected them more than normal this morning. We have a nice coexistence, and I am glad that I have them. They remind me that, for now, it's ok to be content in the normal routine of my life.
That is all.
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