well, trying to fill my week with people didn't exactly turn out as i'd hoped, but that's ok. it was not a complete bust haha several sets of plans fell through, but we did manage to have our friends Lois and Charles over one night for dinner and conversation and that was glorious.
This will take time and i'm ok with that. i've gotten to an age in life where i do not expect overnight miracles. That attitude accompanies a mid life crisis very well i think haha And also, i've spent so much time declining invitations, that it's going to take some time to build up people wanting to ask me.
One of the reasons that i have such a hard time extending and accepting invitations is that i've developed a severe fear of rejection. And the MLC has only amplified that. i don't really think anything, other than my own insecurities, has caused me to have this fear. it's something i can't just "get over" but i can work through it. i'm not sure at what point i decided that i was not good enough or entertaining enough or pretty enough to think that other people would enjoy my company, but somewhere along the line i picked up those feelings. It may not be immediate, but it will happen.
So, i may not have my dance card full right now, but i'm bound and determined to at least start asking people to dance!
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