Thought for the day

Tonight, i am frustrated.  Not as frustrated as i was about 6 hours ago, but frustrated none the less.  i have had a few hours, one being in therapy, where i have been able to let my frustrations out and vent then reflect on things and start developing a plan.

If you follow me at all on Facebook, i stated yesterday that i was having trouble registering for certain social work classes that i need for next semester.  Well, today, i know why i cannot get into them.  It is my GPA.  Overall, it is too low for me to be not only allowed in these classes but too low for me to continue being a BSW student.  i knew that this was a possibility since i received my cold, sterile worded acceptance letter.  i was accepted "conditionally" into the program because of my GPA and i had exactly one semester to fix that.  i think that in the back of my mind, that knowing my past school experiences and the fact that my social work GPA is a 3.98 might weigh in my favor with the faculty, but that was never an absolute.

Anyway, i know that this is not unfixable, but there are certain things that i may not be able to handle financially.  As of right now, i have everything squared away with financial aid as far as my academic plan is concerned.  They are aware of the number of hours that i have and how many semesters it is going to take to get my degree. The fact that i have to go through the same ropes with financial aid every semester until i graduate is a small price to pay.  Having said that, not being allowed into those classes will put me one year behind....which i cannot afford to do.  i have 9....count them....9 classes left to take before this degree is done.  i can't flip a switch and fix my GPA from 20 years ago.  i do not qualify for academic renewal which would get rid of all of the failing grades on my transcript because my GPA has never been below a 2.0.  Last semester i got straight A's and that only raised my GPA 4 1/100th's of a point.  This semester, i would have had to have taken at least 7 classes and made straight A's again simply to get my GPA to the 2.5 in compliance with the BSW program.  Wasn't going to happen.  i do have to work as well as go to school.

However, my frustration today is how much longer am i going to be punished for my past?  Yes, i made mistakes.  Yes, i have learned from them.  At what point will the black sheep turn white?  At what point are the past debts paid off?  At what point is the prodigal son no longer prodigal?  i have no effing clue.  But it's about time that i find out.  That is all.

Cheers