The Continuing Adventures of Just a Waiter

 

It's scholarship time again at work and I am debating whether or not to apply again.  If I get awarded something, it's free money.  If I don't, then the only thing that I have truly lost is the time it takes to fill out the application.  You might read that and think, duh, it's not even a question.  Apply!  Well, in my head (and at the encouragement of my therapist) that makes perfect sense.  But it's a little more complicated for me because I tend to take everything personally.  I try not to, but hell, I'm only human.

I applied for the scholarship back in the fall.  It's open to all associates, present and former, as well as family members.  I thought it would be great since I am doing the best that I can to pay for my education myself and they will award up to $5000 each semester.  There are the standard application questions such as background, tuition costs, etc., along with 2....not 1 but 2...essays.  Granted, there's limited space to write these essays and you cannot send attachments in with the application so you really have to be fairly brief or write incredibly small!  Still, it's 2 essays!

I truly thought that I would be a pretty good candidate for this.  After all, I've been with the company for almost 6 years.  My career there has spanned 3 different departments and I am everyone's "go to" guy for random things that are needed.  I have been employee of the month twice and employee of the year once.  And my degree is something that is focused on senior services.  Sounds pretty much like a no brainer to me.  Wrong LOL

I understand that these kinds of things are very subjective, but I feel like I have been an exemplary employee.  The scholarship committee never reached out to me in any form and judged me based solely on the application.  They awarded me enough money to cover one hour of one class.  That was it.  Now, I do realize and accept the fact that I was thinking I would get more based on my track record with the company, and that's my own fault, but I ended up only being able to afford one class after the scholarship and now I'm a year behind where I'd like to be.  Oh, well.  I can't assume that corporate views my achievements the same way as my immediate company does.  Lesson learned.

So, now I'm just debating.  And I have to make up my mind quickly as time is running out.  I just don't want to put that much effort into something to be judged blindly and told I'm only worth so much to them.  While I know that I shouldn't think that way, I cannot help it.  I've got some thinking to do!

That is all.